St Louis Rams Jokes

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Q: Why does President Obama want to send Rams QB Marc Bulger to Venezuela?
A: The CIA are convinced Marc is the only American who can overthrow Hugo Chavez.

Q: Why can't Sam Bradford use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.

Q: What's the difference between the St Louis Rams and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the St Louis Rams and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Rams fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many St Louis Rams does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The St Louis Rams.

Q: What do the St Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep an St Louis Rams out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why are so many St Louis Rams players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What is a St Louis Rams fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Arizona."

Q: How do you stop an St Louis Rams fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an St Louis Rams fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Rams wide receiver, a Rams linebacker, and a Rams defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an St Louis Rams fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three St Louis Rams football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an St Louis Rams fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the St Louis Rams fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What do you call a St Louis Ram in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that St Louis's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How many St Louis Rams fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don�t burn out man!

Q: What does a St Louis Rams fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They�re both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do St Louis Rams fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the St Louis Rams spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Rams fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for 4 years!

Q: Why do the St Louis Rams want to change their name to the St Louis Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

Q: What's the difference between the St Louis Rams & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

Q: Where do you go in St Louis in case of a tornado?
A: Edward Jones Dome - they never get a touchdown there!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Edward Jones Dome upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Springfield have a professional football team?
A: Because then St Louis would want one.

Child Welfare

A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Fulton County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. \
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the St Louis Rams, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Rams Fan
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cardinals fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cardinals fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'
Because I'm not a Cardinals fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Cardinals fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a Rams fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Rams fan?'
"Because my mom is a Rams fan, and my dad is Rams fan, so I'm a Rams fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Rams fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?'
"Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Cardinals fan.'

4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Rams fan, and a Cardinals fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Rams fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Cardinals fan off the mountain.

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