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New York Jets Jokes


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Q: Whats Green and White and doesn't play football?
A: Chris Johnson

Q: Did you hear about the joke that Mark Sanchez told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.

Q: Why can't Geno Smith use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.

Q: Why does President Obama want to send Jets QB Geno Smith to Syria?
A: The CIA are convinced Geno is the only American who can overthrow Bashir Assad.

Q: How many Jets fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in New Englands shadow!

Q: Why are former massage therapists suing the New York Jets and Brett Favre?
A: Because they claimed Brett Favre rubbed him the wrong way!

Q: What do you call an New York Jet with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: How do you know the New York State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into New York City.
A: For the first offense, they give you two New York Jets tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q: What did the Jets fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"

Q: What do the New York Jets and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

Q. How are the Jets like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!

Q: What is cromarties favorite clothe designer?
A: AberCROmbie and fitch

Q: What is Osama Bin Ladens favorite football team?
A: The New York Jets!

Q: Why are the New York Jets like Hillary Clinton?
A: Both have Bills to push around.

Q: Want to hear a Jets joke?
A: Mark Sanchez!

Q: Why is Mark Sanchez like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

Q: What's the difference between the New England Patriots and the New York Jets?
A: The last Patriots Super Bowl team picture isn't in black and white.

Q: What's the difference between the New York Jets and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the New York Jets and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Jets fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many New York Jets does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The New York Jets.

Q: What do the New York Jets and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep an New York Jets out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why are so many New York Jets players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What is a New York Jets fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat New England."

Q: How do you stop an New York Jets fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an New York Jets fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Jets wide receiver, a Jets linebacker, and a Jets defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an New York Jets fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple New York Jets games.

Q: What should you do if you find three New York Jets football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an New York Jets fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the New York Jets fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an New York Jets fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: What do you call a New York Jet in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that New Yorks's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How many New York Jets fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!

Q: What does a New York Jets fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do New York Jets fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Jets spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Jets fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New England Red White and Blue and he won't beat it for 4 years!

Q: Why do the New York Jets want to change their name to the New York Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

Q: What's the difference between the New York Jets & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

Q: Where do you go in New York in case of a tornado?
A: New Meadowlands Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!

Q. Why do ducks fly over New Meadowlands Stadium upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Syracuse have a professional football team?
A: Because then New York would want one.

Q: Why are New York Jets jokes getting dumb and dumber?
A: Because Jets fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between New York Jets fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Did you hear that MetLife Stadium had to be resodded?
Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!

Patriots Fan

On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Jets fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Jets fans.

Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'

Because I'm not a Jets fan,' she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Jets fan, then who are you a fan of?'

'I am a Patriots fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Patriots fan?'

Because my mom is a Patriots fan, and my dad is Patriots fan, so I'm a Patriots fan too!''

Well,' said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Patriots fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, wha t would you be then?'

Then,' Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Jets fan.'

4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Jets fan, and a Patriots fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Patriots fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Jets fan off the mountain.


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