New Orleans Saints Jokes

Q: Following the BP Oil Spill how did New Orleans celebrate their Saints?
A: By singing when the Saints come dripping in!

Q: After the Saints manhandled the Atlanta Falcons defense how did New Orleans reward them?
A: By making them honorary levees!

Q: What's the difference between the New Orleans Saints and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the New Orleans Saints and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Saints fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many Saints fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in Atlanta's shadow!

Q: How many New Orleans Saints does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What did the Saints fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"

Q. How are the Saints like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!

Q. What happens when Drew Brees has a bad game?
A: The Saints go marching home.

Q: Want to hear a Saints joke?
A: Coby Fleener!

Q: Why is Tim Hightower like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The New Orleans Saints.

Q: What do the New Orleans Saints and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

Q: What do the New Orleans Saints and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep a New Orleans Saint out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: What do the Saints and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!

Q: Why are so many New Orleans Saints players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What is a New Orleans Saints fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Atlanta."

Q: What do the Saints and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sunday night.

Q: How do you stop an New Orleans Saints fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Atlanta Black and Red!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an New Orleans Saints fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Saints wide receiver, a Saints linebacker, and a Saints defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an New Orleans Saints fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three New Orleans Saints football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple New Orleans Saints games.

Q: What's the difference between an New Orleans Saints fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the New Orleans Saints fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What do you call an New Orleans Saint in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that New Orleans's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How many New Orleans Saints fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What does a New Orleans Saints fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do New Orleans Saints fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Saints spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Saints fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Atlanta Black and red and he won't beat it for years!

Q: Why do the New Orleans Saints want to change their name to the New Orleans Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

Q: What's the difference between the New Orleans Saints & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

Q: Where do you go in New Orleans in case of a tornado?
A: The Superdome - they never get a touchdown there!

Q. Why do ducks fly over the Superdome upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Baton Rouge have a professional football team?
A: Because then New Orleans would want one.

Q: Why are New Orleans Saints jokes getting dumber and dumber??
A: Because Saints fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between the New Orleans Saints and a pinball machine?
A: The pinball machine scores more points.

Q: What's the difference between New Orleans Saints fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Did you hear that Mercedes-Benz Superdome had to be resodded?
Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!

Can a New Orleans Saints player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

My wife was about to put my son in a New Orleans Saints jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are New Orleans Saints fans.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Saints jersey on it and now it sucks again.

Why did the New Orleans Saints fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

Are you scared of catching the flu? Just hang in the Saints end zone, they don't catch anything there.

I put a Saints logo on an airplane and now it can't touchdown.

A New Orleans Saints fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.

Atlanta Falcons Fan

On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Saints fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Saints fans.

Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'

Because I'm not a Saints fan,' she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Saints fan, then who are you a fan of?'

'I am a Falcons fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Falcons fan?'

Because my mom is a Falcons fan, and my dad is Falcons fan, so I'm a Falcons fan too!''

Well,' said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Falcons fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, wha t would you be then?'

Then,' Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Saints fan.'

4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Saints fan, and a Falcons fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Saints fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Falcons fan off the mountain.

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