Philadelphia 76ers Jokes

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Q: What do you call an Philadelphia 76ers player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia 76ers and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Philadelphia 76ers and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a 76ers fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many Philadelphia 76ers players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Philadelphia 76ers.

Q: How do you keep an Philadelphia 76ers player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

Q: What is a Philadelphia 76ers fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Boston."

Q: How do you stop an Philadelphia 76ers fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Boston Green and White!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Philadelphia 76ers fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a 76ers power forward, a 76ers point guard, and a 76ers center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an Philadelphia 76ers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Philadelphia 76ers basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Philadelphia 76ers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Philadelphia 76ers fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Philadelphia 76ers fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: How many Philadelphia 76ers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don�t burn out man!

Q: What does a Philadelphia 76ers fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They�re both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Philadelphia 76ers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the 76ers spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a 76ers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Boston green and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Wells Fargo Center upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Pittsburgh have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Philadelphia would want one.

Q: What do you call an Philadelphia 76er in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Philadelphia's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

76ers Fan

A 76ers fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Royal Blue and Red jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no 76ers fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no 76ers fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the 76ers supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".

Genie
A 76ers fan and a Celtics fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The 76ers fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the 76ers fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the 76ers fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Celtics fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Celtics fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the 76ers fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.

Elton Brand

Elton Brand walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Elton "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Elton . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."

Condoms

What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's royal blue and red and goes on a prick? A 76ers Jersey.

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