Orlando Magic Jokes
Q: What do you call an Orlando Magic player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.
Q: What's the difference between the Orlando Magic and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: What do the Orlando Magic and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: What is the difference between a Magic fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: How many Orlando Magic players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Orlando Magic.
Q: How do you keep an Orlando Magic player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.
Q: What is a Orlando Magic fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Boston."
Q: How do you stop an Orlando Magic fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Boston Green and White!
Q: What do the Orlando Magic and a nail have in common?
A: They are both good till they hit the wood.
Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Orlando Magic fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: If you have a car containing a Magic power forward, a Magic point guard, and a Magic center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: How do you casterate an Orlando Magic fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: How do you know that the Orlando Magic are the real deal?
A: David Copperfield shows up and rapes the cheerleaders.
Q: What should you do if you find three Orlando Magic basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Orlando Magic fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. How did the Orlando Magic fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What does an Orlando Magic fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: How many Orlando Magic fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
Q: What does a Orlando Magic fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do Orlando Magic fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: How do the Magic spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: How do you keep a Magic fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Boston green and white and he won't beat it for years!
Q. Why do ducks fly over Amway Center upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: Why did the Orlando Magic sign a new big man?
A: They are looking to have bounce Ibaka year.
Q: Why doesn't Jacksonville have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Orlando would want one.
Q: What do you call an Orlando Magic in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.
Q: Did you hear that Orlando's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: Why are Orlando Magic jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A: Because Magic fans have started to make them up themselves.
Q: What's the difference between the Orlando Magic and a pinball machine?
A: You can score more points against the Magic.
Can an Orlando Magic player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.
My wife was about to put my son in an Orlando Magic jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.
I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put an Orlando Magic jersey on it and now it sucks again.
According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Orlando Magic fans.
Why did the Orlando Magic fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.
I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the Magic laid tonight.
An Orlando Magic fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.
Magic Fan
A Magic fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Light Royal Blue and Silver jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Magic fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Magic fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Magic supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".
Genie
A Magic fan and a Celtics fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The Magic fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the Magic fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the Magic fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Celtics fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Celtics fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the Magic fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.
Jameer Nelson
Jameer Nelson walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Jameer "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Jameer . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."
Condoms
What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's Light Royal Blue and Silver and goes on a prick? A Magic Jersey.
Thats A Problem
What do you call 10 Orlando Magic fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 100 Orlando Magic fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 1000 Orlando Magic fans on the moon?
Still a problem.
what do you call all of the Orlando Magic fans on the moon?
PROBLEM SOLVED!