Denver Nuggets Jokes
Q: What do you call an Denver Nuggets player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.
Q: What's the difference between the Denver Nuggets and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: What do the Denver Nuggets and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: What is the difference between a Nuggets fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: How many Denver Nuggets players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Denver Nuggets.
Q: How do you keep an Denver Nuggets player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.
Q: What is a Denver Nuggets fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Los Angeles."
Q: How do you stop an Denver Nuggets fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Los Angeles Purple and Gold!
Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Denver Nuggets fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: If you have a car containing a Nuggets power forward, a Nuggets point guard, and a Nuggets center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: What do the Nuggets and a nail have in common?
A: They are both good till they hit the wood.
Q: How do you casterate an Denver Nuggets fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: What should you do if you find three Denver Nuggets basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Denver Nuggets fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. How did the Denver Nuggets fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What does an Denver Nuggets fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: How many Denver Nuggets fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
Q: What does a Denver Nuggets fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do Denver Nuggets fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: Why did the Denver Nuggets lose their point guard?
A: Because he couldn't follow the Law-son.
Q: How do the Nuggets spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: How do you keep a Nuggets fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Los Angeles purple and gold and he won't beat it for years!
Q. Why do ducks fly over Pepsi Center upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: Why doesn't Boulder have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Denver would want one.
Q: What do you call a Denver Nugget in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.
Q: Did you hear that Denver's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: Why are Denver Nuggets jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A: Because Nuggets fans have started to make them up themselves.
Q: What's the difference between the Denver Nuggets and a pinball machine?
A: You can score more points against the Nuggets.
According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Denver Nuggets fans.
Can a Denver Nuggets player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.
My wife was about to put my son in a Denver Nuggets jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.
I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Nuggets jersey on it and now it sucks again.
Why did the Denver Nuggets fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.
I heard Donald Trump is going to build a wall with all the bricks the Denver Nuggets laid tonight.
A Denver Nuggets fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.
Yo momma so fat her favorite team is the Denver McNuggets.
Nuggets Fan
A Nuggets fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Powder Blue and Gold jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Nuggets fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Nuggets fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Nuggets supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".
Genie
A Nuggets fan and a Lakers fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The Nuggets fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the Nuggets fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the Nuggets fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Lakers fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Lakers fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the Nuggets fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.
Kenyon Martin
Kenyon Martin walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Kenyon "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Kenyon . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."
Condoms
What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's powder blue and gold and goes on a prick? A Nuggets Jersey.
Thats A Problem
What do you call 10 Denver Nuggets fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 100 Denver Nuggets fans on the moon?
A problem.
What do you call 1000 Denver Nuggets fans on the moon?
Still a problem.
what do you call all of the Denver Nuggets fans on the moon?
PROBLEM SOLVED!