Cleveland Cavaliers Jokes

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Q: What do you call an Cleveland Cavaliers player with a championship ring?
A: A thief.

Q: How do you know you've found Lebron James' cell phone?
A: It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn't have a ring!

Q: What did Lebron James eat during his last breakfast in the city of Cleveland?
A: Eggs Benedict Arnold!

Q: Despite Lebron James leaving for the Miami Heat why does Delonte West want to stay in Cleveland?
A: Lebron James' Mom!

Q: Why did Lebron head down South?
A: Because his mother went West!

Q: What's the difference between the Cleveland Cavaliers and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Cleveland Cavaliers and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Cavaliers fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many Cleveland Cavaliers players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Cleveland Cavaliers.

Q: How do you keep an Cleveland Cavaliers player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

Q: What is a Cleveland Cavaliers fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Boston."

Q: How do you stop an Cleveland Cavaliers fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Boston Green and White!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Cleveland Cavaliers fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Cavaliers power forward, a Cavaliers point guard, and a Cavaliers center, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an Cleveland Cavaliers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Cleveland Cavaliers basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Cleveland Cavaliers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Cleveland Cavaliers fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Cleveland Cavaliers fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: How many Cleveland Cavaliers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don�t burn out man!

Q: What does a Cleveland Cavaliers fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They�re both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Cleveland Cavaliers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Cavaliers spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Cavaliers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Boston green and white and he won't beat it for 4 years!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Quicken Loans Arena upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Columbus have a professional basketball team?
A: Because then Cleveland would want one.

Q: What do you call an Cleveland Cavalier in the NBA Finals?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Cleveland's basketball team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Cavaliers Fan

A Cavaliers fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Navy and wine jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Cavaliers fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Cavaliers fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Cavaliers supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".

Genie
A Cavaliers fan and a Celtics fan stumble upon a magic lamp.
The Cavaliers fan gets to it first, picks it up and gives it a rub. There's a flash, a puff of smoke, and a genie appears
The genie looks at the 2 men and demands to know who it was that rubbed the lamp. Delighted, the Cavaliers fan announces that it was him.
"Okay," says the genie, "So you get 3 wishes. But there's a catch."
"What's that then?" asks the 'Gers fan.
"Well, whatever you wish for, I'll give the other guy double."
"That's alright with me," says the Cavaliers fan, and starts the ball rolling by wishing for a million pounds.
"Granted!" says the genie, "But the Celtics fan gets 2 million."
"Fair enough. Now, I'd like a nice new Ferrari,"
"Done. But the Celtics fan gets 2 Ferraris."
"Okay," says the Cavaliers fan, "I'd like to donate a kidney.

Mo Williams

Mo Williams walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Mo "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Mo . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."

Condoms

What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's wine and navy and goes on a prick? A Cavaliers Jersey.

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