Philadelphia Union Jokes

Q: What do you call 100 Philadelphia Union supporters at the bottom of a cliff?
A: A good start!

Q: What do you call a dead Union Fan in a closet?
A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest.

Q: What do you say to a Philadelphia Union supporter with a good looking bird on his arm?
A: Nice tattoo

Q: What do you call an Philadelphia Union fan that does well on an IQ test?
A: A cheat.

Q: You're trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and an Philadelphia Union Fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A: Shoot the Philadelphia Union Fan. Twice.

Q: What is the difference between Philadelphia Union and a cup of tea?
A: The tea stays in the cup longer!

Q: What do you call a Philadelphia Union fan in a suit?
A: The accused.

Q: Why did God make Philadelphia Union supporters smelly?
A: So blind people could laugh at them too!

Q: Why don't they drink tea at Talen Energy Stadium?
A: Because all the cups are in Los Angeles.

Q: Why do Philadelphia Union blokes drink from a saucer?
A: Because the cup's always in Los Angeles!

Q: What's the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and Philadelphia Union?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.

Q: What do you call 5 Philadelphia Union fans standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.

Q: Why are Philadelphia Union strikers like grizzly bears?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.

Q: What's the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Philadelphia Union tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Philadelphia Union tickets.

Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and a Philadelphia Union striker?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!

Q: Why do Philadelphia Union fans suck at geometry?
A: Because they never have any points.

Q: What does a fine wine and Philadelphia Union have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.

Q: Why do people like driving a car with an Union fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!

Q: Whats the difference between Philadelphia Union and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.

Q: What is the difference between an Philadelphia Union supporter and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: What do I have in common with Philadelphia Union?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the MLS Cup final on television.

Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and a Union fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: How do you casterate a Philadelphia Union supporter?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What does a Philadelphia Union fan do when his team has won the MLS Cup?
A: He turns off the PlayStation.

Q: What does an Philadelphia Union supporter and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: How do you keep a Philadelphia Union fan from masterbating?
A: You paint the Seattle Sounders Logo on his dick and he won't beat it for years!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Talen Energy Stadium upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Did you hear that Philadelphia Union doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How do you stop a Philadelphia Union supporter from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in a LA Galaxy jersey!

Q: Why did god invent alcohol?
A: So Philadelphia Union supporters can get laid too.

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask a Philadelphia Union supporter!

Q: What's the difference between onions and a Philadelphia Union supporter?
A: I cry when I cut up onions...

Q: Why are Philadelphia Union jokes getting dumb and dumber?
A: Because Union fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What is the shortest book in the world called?
A: Intelligent Philadelphia Union supporters.

I set my XBOX password to "Philadelphia Union Defense". It said it was to weak.

One day there was 3 girls one supported the LA Galaxy and wore navy blue knickers,
the second one wore supported the Seattle Sounders and wore green knickers,
the other one wore no knickers and she supported Philadelphia Union.

Reckless Driver
A Seattle Sounders fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Philadelphia Union supporter he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious navy blue and gold jersey. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them.
One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest.
"Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road.
Suddenly, the driver saw a Philadelphia Union supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time.
Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything.
He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Philadelphia Union supporter."
"That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."

Elementary School
An elementary school teacher explains to her class that she is an Philadelphia Union supporter. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Philadelphia Union supporters, too.
Not really knowing what a Philadelphia Union supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Philadelphia Union fan."
"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"Why I'm proud to be a Seattle Sounders supporter.", boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Sounders supporter.
"Well, My Dad and Mom are Sounders supporters, and I'm a Sounders fan, too!"
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Philadelphia Union supporter."

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