Camping Jokes
When's the only time and place most teens go camping?
In front of Best Buy the day before the release of the new Call of Duty!
Did you hear about the out of control campfire?
Yeah, it was in'tents'.
How can you tell if a bear is under your sleeping bag?
The ceiling of your tent is very close.
How many campers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they screw in sleeping bags.
What do you call a camp counselor without a girlfriend?
Homeless!
How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
What did the polar bears say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags?
"Sandwiches!"
Ever had sex while camping?
It's fucking intents.
What do fish and women have in common?
They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!
Where does a camper keep his money
In the River Bank!
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.
But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
You know your Canadian if you bring a portable TV on a camping trip so that you don't miss Hockey Night.
Mother In-Law
Bob, a hunter, went on camping trip with his wife, kids, and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the forrest, the Mrs awoke to find her mother gone.
Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother.
Bob picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.
In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large bear stood facing her.
The wife cried, "What are we going to do?"
"Nothing," said the hunter husband. "The bear got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
Camping
Batman and Robin are camping in the desert, set up their tent and are asleep.
Some hours later, Batman wakes his faithful friend. "Robin, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Robin replies, " I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" asks Batman.
Robin ponders for a minute.
"Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Chronologically, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Batman?"
"Robin, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent."