Boxing Jokes
Q: Does a match box?
A: No, but a tin can!
Q: Why do boxers have "TGIF" written on their boxing shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.
Q: Why is Wladimir Klitschko a crossword puzzle boxer?
A: You enter the ring vertical and leave horizontal!
Q: What do you call a gay boxer?
A: Fruit Punch!
Q: What is a boxers favourite part of a joke?
A: The punch line!
Q: What does Manny Pacquiao plan to write on Floyd Mayweathers tombstone?
A: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
Q: What's the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match?
A: In a hockey game, the fights are real.
Q: Why don't boxers have sex before a fight?
A: They don't fancy each other.
Q: What did Mike Tyson say to his girlfriend?
A: Your EARresistable
Coach, my sparring partner called in sick can I train alone today?
Knock yourself out.
Q: Did you see the award winning boxing cartoon for kids?
A: The Rocky Balboa & Raging Bullwinkle Show.
Q: Did you hear about the new sexual position called "Midget Boxing"?
A: It's when the girl gets on her knees and gives you some blows.
Q: How are a Bud Light bottle and a boxer alike?
A: They are both empty from the neck up.
Q: How do you make a fruit punch?
A: Give it boxing lessons.
Q: Why did Mike Tyson break up with his girlfriend?
A: Ear-Reconcilable Differences
Q: Why are guys with saggy pants bad at boxing?
A: Because they don't like belts.
Q: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?
A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!
Q: How come Mike Tyson's eye's water during sex?
A: Mace
Q: What did Ricky Hatton's manager tell him inbetween rounds during a fight with Floyd Mayweather Jr?
A: "Let him hit you with his left for awhile. Your face is crooked."
Q: Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson computer?
A: It has two bytes and no memory
Q: What do they call a boxer who gets beaten up by a Klitschko brother in a fight?
A: A sore loser.
Q: How bad is a Floyd Mayweather meltdown?
A: So bad Al Gore is making a documentary about it!
Q. What has four legs and no ears?
A. Mike Tyson's dog.
Is your dad a boxer? "No Why?" Because your one hell of a knock out!
A boxer is pulled over and issued a sobriety test, during which he falls to the ground. The officer proceeds to give him a ten-count.
Mayweather vs De La Hoya
Floyd Mayweather and Oscar De La Hoya went through the motions, hardly touching one another.
They danced around and around. Finally the referee got them in a clinch and said,
"I don't mind your dancing around like that, but dipping is out!"
Mayweather vs Pacquiao
Floyd Mayweather Jr and Manny Pacquiao, finally decided to the mother of all fights.
Halfway into the fourth round, Manny Pacquiao released a mighty punch that sent Mayweather to the mat for the count.
As his handlers carried him from the ring on a stretcher, the Mayweather groaned and spoke in a feeble voice,
"What happened? I hurt all over!"
"Easy does it, Floyd," said his manager. "You're in better shape than Manny at the moment."
"How can you say that?" Mayweather asked. "I never laid a glove on him."
"No," his manager responded, "but we left him back there in the ring a total wreck. He thinks he killed you."