Archery Jokes
Q: What did the lustful maiden say to the handsome archer?
A: "You make me quiver."
Q: What do real archers say to compound archers?
A: "I see you still have your training wheels on your bow."
Q: What do you call a professional archer without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless!
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Q: What did the archer make out of his bow?
A: A bow tie.
Q: What do you get when you get two bulleyes
A: Two bulls!
Q: What kind of bow can't be tied?
A: a crossbow
Q: What did the archer get when he hit a bullseye?
A: a very angry bull.
Q. What did the archer say when he hit a bull?
A. I got a bullseye.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
It's very uncommon for two archers to have the same score.
Everyone knows that bow ties went out of style years ago.
Archery Contest
Once upon a time there was an archery contest.
The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position...He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow which finds the center of the target. Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM...... ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers! The second archer with a cape lines up in position. He fires his arrow which hits the center and cuts robin hood's arrow into two!!! He takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!! finally, a third man in cape lines up in position... He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!!! It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams: I AM...... SORRY!!!
Radio Interview
Note: This is an exact transcript of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster, and US Army General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.
Woman Radio Host: "So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?"
General Reinwald: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting."
Woman Radio Host: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
General Reinwald: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range."
Woman Radio Host: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?"
General Reinwald: "I don't see how, "We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm."
Woman Radio Host: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
General Reinwald: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you?" The radio went silent and the interview ended.
A Fine Shot
A duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants; he came across a tree.
Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow.
'Who is this incredibly fine archer?' cried the duke.'I must find him!'
After continuing through the forest for a few miles he came across a small boy carrying a bow and arrow.
Eventually the boy admitted that it was he who shot the arrows plumb in the center of all the targets.
'You didn't just walk up to the targets and hammer the arrows into the middle, did you?' asked the duke worriedly.
'No my lord. I shot them from a hundred paces. I swear it by all that I hold holy.'
'That is truly astonishing,' said the duke. 'I hereby admit you into my service.'
The boy thanked him profusely.
'But I must ask one favor in return,' the duke continued. 'You must tell me how you came to be such an outstanding shot.'
'Well,' said the boy, 'first I fire the arrow at the tree, and then I paint the target around it.'