#10. Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.
#9. Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter the trailer park."
#8. The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.
#7. The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
#6. The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a day."
#5. Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.
#4. "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.
#3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming fluid.
#2. With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "m"s on them.
And the Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO:
#1. You ask for Viagra; you get a popsicle stick and duct tape.