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TEN SIGNS YOU'VE JOINED A CHEAP H.M.O.

#10. Your annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.

#9.   Directions to your doctor's office include, "take a left when you enter the trailer park."

#8.   The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

#7.   The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

#6.   The only item listed under Preventive Care coverage is "an apple a day."

#5.   Your "primary care physician" is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

#4.   "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.

#3.   The only expense covered 100% is embalming fluid.

#2.   With your last HMO, your Prozac didn't come in different colors with little "m"s on them.

And the Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO:

#1.   You ask for Viagra; you get a popsicle stick and duct tape.
By Steve C.

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