Man's Language Joke
1. "I'M GOING FISHING"
Translation: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and sit in
a boat
with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
2. "IT'S A GUY THING"
Translation: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it,
and
you have no chance at all of making it logical.
3. "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translation: Why isn't it already on the table?
4. "UH HUH", SURE", or, "YES, DEAR"
Translation: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
5. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translation: I have no idea how it works.
6. "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU, IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY
MIND"
Translation: I was wondering if that blonde over there has a
boyfriend.
7. "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD"
Translation: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
8. "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR"
Translation: Are you still talking?
9. "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS"
Translation: I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of
the
first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of
every
car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.
10. "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU AND GOT YOU THESE
ROSES"
Translation: The girl selling them was real cute.
11. "OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG
DEAL"
Translation: I have actually severed a limb, but I will bleed to
death
before I admit that I'm hurt.
12. "HEY. I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING"
Translation: And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.
13. "I CAN'T FIND IT"
Translation: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm
completely clueless.
14. "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translation: What did you catch me at?
15. "I HEARD YOU"
Translation: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and I
am
hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't
have to
spend the next three days yelling at me.
16. "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Translation: I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it
could be much worse.
17. "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Translation: Oh, God, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm
starving.
18. "I'M NOT LOST, I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE"
Translation: No one will ever see us alive again.