Air Traffic Humor Joke
The controller who was working a busy pattern told
the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (to do a
complete circle, usually to provide spacing between
aircraft).
The pilot of the 727 complained, "Do you know It
costs us two thousand dollars to make a
three-sixty in this airplane?
Without missing a beat the controller replied,
"Roger, give me four thousand dollars worth!"
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A DC-10 had an exceedingly long roll out after
landing when his approach speed was just a little
too fast.
San Jose Tower: "American 751 heavy, turn right at
the end, if able. If not able, take the Guadeloupe
exit off of Highway 101 and make a right at the light
to return to the airport.
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Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact
Departure on 124.7."
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure
...
by the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of
dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff.
Contact Departure on 124.7; did you copy the report
from Eastern?"
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for
takeoff roger; and yes, we copied Eastern.
We've already notified our caterers."
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O'Hare Approach Control: "United 329 Heavy, your
traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, 3 miles, eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this
...
I've got that Fokker in sight!"