How do Republicans plan to fix social security?
By taking the word SECURITY out of it.
How did Bernie Madoff get the idea for a ponzi scheme (where you use the money of new investors to pay off the older investors.)
What do you call always wanting a date for New Year's Eve?
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
"Dick Cheney said he felt terrible about shooting a 78-year-old man, but on the bright side, it did give him a great idea about how to fix Social Security." -Bill Maher
The Mexican goverment has the best social welfare system in the world. No forms ... You share the same social security number with all your amigos.
Social Security Sex
Two guys are sitting in a bar. One looks over at the other and asks how his sex life is going.
The second guy looks at him blankly for a moment and replies," Eh, i'm having social security sex."
His buddy looked puzzled for a minute then finally asks "What the hell is social security sex?"
"Yeah well I get a little every month but its not enough to live on."