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Republican Jokes


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Q: When is it okay for Republicans to engage in group sex and drug use?
A: After they decide to run for Governor of California

Q: If Ted Haggard isn't a George Bush Republican, what kind of republican is he?
A: A George Michael Republican!

Q: Why weren't the Republicans behind the verdict in the Saddam Hussein Trial a couple of days before the 2006 Midterm Elections?
A: Because they were so busy fixing the price on oil!

Q: Why should Creationism be taught in schools?
A: Because it leaves less time to teach Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer

Q: Why is trade with comunnist Cuba bad?
A: Because it lowers our trade potential with China and Vietnam

Q: What do you call a Republican who wants insurance to cover Viagra but not birth control?
A: Motherfucker

Q: What do Republicans and porn stars have in common?
A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.

Q: How do you fight the war on terror?
A: By belittling our long-time allies, then demanding their cooperation and money

Q: Why is it bad when the Republicans control the House, the Senate, Supreme Court, the White House?
A: Because they only have themselves to blame

Q: What does Anna Nicole Smith call Strom Thurmond?
A: The Bachelor

Q: Why won't Barack Obama be celebrating his 51st birthday?
A: Republicans won't let Democrats raise taxes on the rich let alone Barack Obama's age!

Q: What's the Republican's secret Weapon for the 2006 Mid-term Elections?
A: John Kerry! ...(he insulted the troops)

Q: Why did Elizabeth Dole consider running for the Senate?
A: To get away from Bob and his little blue pills!

Q: What did Bob Dole say after appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears?
A: If this won't cure erectile dysfunction....nothing will

Q: Why are gay Saudis a big dilemma for Republicans?
A: Because their gays with oil

Q: What's worse than Bill Clinton calling you a womanizer?
A: Marc Foley calling you a pervert!

Q: Is lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die an impeachable offense?
A: Nooooo!!!!.....But lying about an extramarital affair is!

Q: When was Saddamm a good guy?
A1: When Reagan armed him!
A2. After George Sr went to war with him
A3. While Cheney was doing business with him
A4: When Dubya needed a "We can't find Bin Laden" diversion

Q: What does "Standing Tall for America" mean?
A: Firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

Q: How does a Democrat get killed in Texas?
A: When driving around in a car with a bumper sticker saying "I voted for Kerry, I'm gay, and I'm here to take your guns."

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