Offensive Pick Up Lines

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you between F and CK

You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

Are you free tonight or is it gonna cost me?

I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

Your mouth is so beautiful you will never be pregnant.

Seriously honey, sex is like Pizza. Even if it bad, it still pretty darn good.

Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)

You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.

I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

I'm good at math, U+I=69

Wanna come and see my Hard Drive? Babe, I promise you it ain't 3.5 inches and it sure ain't floppy.

"Lets play can be the door so I can slam you all I want!"

I hope you're as easy as your mom....

My couch might pull out but I don't!

You wanna see a donkey show?

Hey baby, theres a party in your mouth and everybody's coming

Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?

You know what they say bae, the thicker the thighs the sweeter the prize.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

Fucking is like flossing your teeth, the first few times theres gonna be blood.

Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!

Do you wanna hookup or do I have to find your dopplebanger.

"Do you know Candice? (Candice who?) Candice dick fit in your mouth?

Do you like dragons? Cause in a minute I'll be dragon my balls across your face

Hi! I'm Craven Morehead are you?

Save a straw...Suck A Dick.

(A tall man to a short woman): "You're perfect height for what I want."

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

You've got a lawyers ass! Yup its firm.

hey baby, thats a nice shirt, can i talk you out of it!

I'm not a dick in real life, but I'll play one in your vagina tonight!

"I'm lookin' for a girl like my mother. She knew her place. But in a good way."

"Yeah, I am married. So what can I do to get you to go out with me?"

So, does the IQ match, the dress size?

Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sun glasses, one leg over each ear.

Do you handle chickens because I've heard your good with cocks

Hey good lookin whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina.

You might want to call a bomb squad, because there's going to be an explosion in your anus

Do you like tapes and CDs? (I guess) Good, 'cause Imma tape this dick to your forehead so you CDs nuts

You look like a hooker I knew in Fresno.

A woman has no value beyond her reproductive capacity. Speaking of your reproductive capacity...

Did you sleep in a garbage can last night? Because you are looking trashy!

Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?

My dick is more comfortable than that chair you know.

Do you have a fucking problem? Cause I can help you with that.

Hi, how bout you grab my butt and i grab your ears!

You got the teacup, cause I'm bringin the teabag.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd bang you in the restroom.

I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.

I like the way your wearing that shirt, but honestly honey, it'd look better on the floor.

Your boobs are big (so) can I touch? (no) God gave you a gift and wants you to share it with the world

Gee, for a fat girl you sure don't sweat much.

If wrinkles were flowers you would be the spring

Hey. My friends wanted me to come over here and ask you if they were fake. Can I sqeeze them to find out?

Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.

Are you going to that funeral? (What Funeral) The one where MY BALLZ drop dead in your mouth

For a fat chick, you sure have small tits.

Do you like wedges?, cause i'm gonna wedge this dick in yo mouth

You can't spell "Thrust" without "us".

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated

The socks are having a party; can the pants come down?

Hey baby, I got a back seat with your name on it.

I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

I wish you were a pig(she asks why?)cause then youd have six...(point at her chest and wait for slap)

hey baby do you want some of these,she says these what you say these nuts.

You're ugly but you intrigue me.

You have a nice body but it would look better in my bed with me in it.

You're good at mathematics, right? Would you say 69 was a perfect square?

What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?

I didn't fart. My intestines just blew you a kiss.

Screw me if I'm wrong but aren't you Julia Roberts.

I have 4 words for you "Hol I Day Inn".

If you think Chewbacca is hairy, wait till you see my Wookie.

Your pants remind me of Vegas.... The kinda place I go to blow my Wad.

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickel

Lets play circus, first sit on my face i'll guess ur weight and i'll eat the difference

Guy: Did you know I am a rapper?
Girl: No
Guy: (Takes penis out)
Well now that the p is out, I guess I'm a raper

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