No Chance Pick Up Lines


Did you fart....Because you are blowing me away!!!

You look hot in that dress, but it'd look a lot better on your sister...

My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z.

Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?

I forgot my blow job at your house, can i come over and get it?

Hey baby, have you fallen from heaven, because that would explain your face..

Can i buy you a drink? cause you look like an alcoholic.

Today I feel like a tampon. I'm at the right place, but at the wrong time.

Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

Your hand is so soft and delicate, my dick would look huge in it.

Are you wearing a cow suit, or do you always look like a heffer?

Damn girrl did you get some lipo, your'e looking P H A T!

Are you a frito cause your really corny

Hey since I lifted your spirits, how about you lift up your shirt.

How much do you weigh cause your lookin PHAT*

Your so hot you can fart in my mouth and I would hold it like a bong hit

Are you constipated? Cause I wanna fuck the shit out of you.

I like my women like I like my coffee, full of cream.

I'm not a dick in real life, but I'll play one in your vagina tonight!

Tell your mom to stop changing lipsticks cause my dick looks like a rainbow

Hey, why go for the best when you can go for the rest?

Mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted?

I heard you have a death wish, how about suffocating on a black penis.

I'm like a trash man, cuz I pick up junk for a living.

Damn girl, you must have all the flies around you because you're the shit!

Can I take you out to eat .....unless you wante me to eat you out

Just call me baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months

Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!

Don't be so picky.... I wasn't!

Hey baby, theres a party in your mouth and everybody's coming

"Yeah, I am married. So what can I do to get you to go out with me?"

You seem really nice...not like the usual bitter pill I meet.

Are you a swimmer cause you have no eyebrows

How much did it cost? You know, the surgery that made you so hot?

Was god constipated when he made you cause you smell like a pile of shit

Did it hurt?(what?) when you fell from heaven? It sure looks like it

Are you going to that funeral? (What Funeral) The one where MY BALLZ drop dead in your mouth

My love for you is like diahreah, I just can`t hold it in.

I just shit in my pants... Can i get in yours?

Save a straw...Suck A Dick.

Did you just crawl up from hell? Cause your smokin'!

Your eyes are as blue as my toilet water at home.

Are you from Europe? Cause eura hoe

Do you think you could teach me to be as full of shit as you are?

Don't be shy give this dick a try.

Good news, the test results are negative!

Wanna be my new vacume cleaner...its not sucking or blowing right

Do you want a invitation ( to what?) A Party in my pants

Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!

Are you a garbage can because I'm trash and I want to be in you.

My penis is going on vacation. Destination: YOUR MOUTH

I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.

Ur not the prettiest one in here but beauty is only a paper bag away.

Do you like tapes and CDs? (I guess) Good, 'cause Imma tape this dick to your forehead so you CDs nuts

Fuck me now or you will die......die bitch die

Debit or credit for those tits?

You MUST have a nice personality.

Blow me you fat ugly hoe

Oh NO! I'm choking! I need mouth-to-mouth Quick!

Here's a fifty dollar bill, get to it.

I wish you were a pig (she asks why?) cause then youd have six....nipples(wait for slap)

Nice hair lets fuck all night long

I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

You're ugly but you intrigue me.

I put the std in stupid.

If you were drunk I'd totally take advantage of you.

Damn girl, I'm gonna be all over you like a fat virgin on a man sandwich!

Theres a party in my pants and your invited.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for women, my thing would rust."

Your so nasty you make me want to go in and eat cottage cheese/p>

Are you a swimmer cause you have no eyebrows

Hey, why go for the best when you can go for the rest?

Hey I went to work but you didn't let me finish let's have round 2

I am lost in your lips please give me a map to your p*ssy

Do you like trash, cause I'd love to dump on your chest

"You don't smell bad for a fat girl".

Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!

Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularily nice weather."

Do you want a invitation ( to what?) A Party in my pants

I didnt ask u to dance.....I said you look fat in those pants

Why don't I Grab your sweet breasts and stick my dick up your butt!

I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be?

Long story short I have money!

Hi I'm (name) and no i dont plan on being this ugly for the rest of my life.

Was god constipated when he made you cause you smell like a pile of shit

I've got the dick, you've got the bum, so do the sum and let me ram your bum

It's Hammer Time,....bang me biaatttccchhh

Did you get it in the mail today?
What?
DEEZ NUTS!

Roses are red
Lemons are sour
Bend over bitch
And feel the power


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