Funny Pick Up Lines - Pick Up Lines

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I grew up during the sixties, with the peace and love generation. If I can�t get some love, I�d like to get a piece.

On my last date, we played strip poker. We stripped, and I poked her.

I just got out of Leavenworth. Can I steal you a drink? How about a BMW?

"Smile if you want to sleep with me." (And watch them try to hold back their laugh.)

Use index finger to call someone over then say, "I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand."

I know hello in 6 different languages, which one do you want me to tell you tomorrow?

Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: Do you want a fuck... (wait for a second for her reaction)...ing drink?

What do you do for a living? I�m a proctologist; the sign on my office door says �park in rear.�

You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls

First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.

You must work in a library because you just increased my circulation!

Well if I were a painter, I'd put you down in paint. I'd hang you by the Mona Lisa and put that girl to shame.

Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?

If I were a tractor and you were a plow, I would definitely hook up with you.

Didn�t I see you in Girls Gone Wild?

"My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?"

I am a love pirate. I like your boooty arrrgh

Hey let's play carpenter, first we get hammered, I get some wood, and then I nail you.

Your belly button is in the wrong place! It should be on top on mine!

"Are you stalking me? Because that would be super."

You are young and fun-loving, that gives you 10 points. Then you are blonde, that gives you five points. At 20 points you get my phone number.

You look a bit tired. Getting laid would do wonders for your complexion."

I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?

Hi, I'm a birdwatcher and I'm looking for a Big-Breasted Bed thrasher, Do you know where i can find one?

It's a celebration bitches! Now show Rick James your titi's!

"Do you believe in the hereafter? Well, then I guess you know what I'm here after."

(Girl coming out of a bar): "Hi, I think I am gonna be the last guy to ask for your phone number today".

"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?" (pull your pockets inside out) "Would you like to?"

My wife doesn�t understand me.

"Your dad must not have a penis. He's got a paintbrush!"

Me without you is like a nerd without braces, a shoe without laces, ASentenceWithoutSpaces.

If you were a Pirate would your parrot be on this sholder (hand on closer sholder) or this sholder? (arm around her with hand on other sholder)

"Are you here alone, or will someone have to retain your affections over my dead body?"

"You've stolen my heart away. Luckily, I've got another three or four in the freezer."

Excuse me, I'm looking for a friend...do you want to be my friend?

Hey you looking for a stud in your life? Cause I got the STD all I need is U

"I want to tell you your fortune." Take her hand and write your phone number on it. "There's your future."

Do you like to bake? (Yes.) I�d love to feel your hot-cross buns.

Do you know the best way to stop back pain and lose 20 pounds? Get a penis reduction; it worked for me!

Is your dad a lumber jack because every time I look at you i get a wood in my pants.

I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.

Sex is a killer...want to die happy?

Good news, the test results are negative!

Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.

You wanna see a donkey show?

Hey, somebody farted. Let's get out of here.

Those are nice legs. do they come over easy?

I have 4 words for you "Hol I Day Inn".

Did you sleep in a garbage can last night? Because you are looking trashy!

I may be hung like a tic-tac, but I'll leave your breath minty fresh!

I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.

Is your dad a donkey? Cause you have a great ass!

"I'm lookin' for a girl like my mother. She knew her place. But in a good way."

If you were a drug, I would overdose!

"My name is Khan, please sit and entertain me."

I got arrested the other day. [For what?] For having two guns and a six pack.

"You know, sometimes it's nice flirting with your eyes accross the room for hours. But today ain't one of those times. Now what's your name?"

Did you just fart? Shes says (No) "Well you just blew me away"!

I wish I were cross-eyed so I can see you twice

I have a dirty weekend planned. Do you know what I�m going to do? Three loads of laundry.

My favorite singer is Mick Jagger. He can�t get no satisfaction, and neither can I. Want to help me change that?

Did I tell you I�m filthy rich and my mother�s dead?

I advise you to surrender immediately, or I'll have to use a pick up line.

Excuse me, My name is Ben Dover (bend over). Would you like to meet my friend Master Bates (masturbates)? Or should I do it for you?

I haven�t seen my ex-wife for over ten years. Nobody else has either; I�ll never tell.

If you come home with me, we can do whatever we want � as long as we don�t wake up my mom.

People say I remind them of a cute teddy bear; I weigh 300 pounds, I�m really hairy, and I sleep all winter.

People keep telling me that I�m overweight. Just because I buy my underwear in the extra-large equator size doesn�t mean I�m overweight � does it?

Would you like a gin and platonic or a Scotch and sofa?

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