Dirty Pick Up Lines - Pick Up Lines

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I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me.

I�m a businessman. I work in orifices, got any openings?

I'm going to have sex with you later, so you might as well be there!

Some men go around telling women they have an eight inch penis; I�d never shortchange myself like that!

The last woman I was with said, �Kiss me where it stinks.� So, I drove her to New Jersey.

Can I park my car in your garage? It�s pretty big, but it doesn�t leak.

Well spread my cheeks and call me �cell bitch;� you�re prettier than anyone I ever met in the joint!

I have a tongue like an anteater; want to go to the zoo?

Your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up?

I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.

Hey, is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd sure love to tap THAT ass!

I would tell you a joke about my penis....buts its too long ;)

My magical watch says you're not wearing any panties...oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast...

"I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?"

I�m a Gemini. What�s your sign � Fire Down Below?

We should play strip poker. You can strip, and I'll poke you.

I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz everytime your around my dick swells up.

Wanna see my third leg?

Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say "Are you gonna eat that?"

Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sun glasses, one leg over each ear.

Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.

My penis is like a dictonary want me to blow your mind?

Those boobs look very heavy... can I hold them for you?

Lets play circus, first sit on my face i'll guess ur weight and i'll eat the difference

How about you get on your knees and smile like a donut!

That dress would look great on my bedroom floor!

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

I've just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!

I'm bigger and better than the Titanic ... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic

Lets play house...you can be the door so I can slam you all I want!

The word for tonight is �legs.� Let's go back to my place and spread the word?

Want to see my hard drive? It ain�t 3.5 inches, and it ain�t floppy!

Do you handle chickens because you look like you'd be good with cocks

Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?

I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!

First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.

Baby!! My love for you is like Diarrhea. It just keeps coming out

Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.

Having sex is a lot like golf. I�m always happy when I get a hole in one.

I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in?

Your pants remind me of Vegas.... The kinda place I go to blow my Wad.

How much does your clothes cost? (Woman says "Why do you want to know?") Cause I`ll need to know how much to pay you back after I rip them off.!

I�m an interior decorator. I can fill your interior; I see something big and pink.

Wanna make like scarface and say hello to my little friend

Bring a teabag and screw in your pocket....go to the bar hold up the teabag and screw and ask if she wants to teabag or screw...

Hi! can i stir your drink, mind if i use my dick?

Are you a cowgirl cause I can see you riding me

Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore....my face should be among them.

Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.

As long as you need a place to sit, you'll always have my face.

Beauty is only skin deep; a huge cock goes much deeper.

My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?

Do you cum here, often?

Wanna do something that rhymes with truck?

Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken wing? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?

Guess what?! I've got an 8" tounge and I can breath out of my ears!

Hey baby, you like Glazed or creme filled?

Do you have a boyfriend? (Yes) Do you mess around? (No) Would you hold still while I do?

Have you ever bought a vibrator? (No.) Do you want to rent one?

"Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place"

You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 5.

Since we shouldn't waste things in this bad economy, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.

Excuse me, My name is Ben Dover (bend over). Would you like to meet my friend Master Bates (masturbates)? Or should I do it for you?

(Looking at a girls ass) Where does this bus go anyway?

You know I live a Magnum Lifestyle

I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south?

Come in the house and take off ur coat, open ur mouth and let me coat the back of that throat!

I dont care that u used to be fat, just come here and let me eat that cat!

The club ends at 2, I gotta go to work at 8 lets go back to your place so you can get that pussy ate

"Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears?" (pull your pockets inside out) "Would you like to?"

Is your dad a carnie (carnival worker) Because I want you sit to on my face while I try to guess your weight.

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