Creepy Pick Up Lines

Do you think I could borrow that dress sometime?

There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.

You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.

Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

That outfit would look great crumpled in a heap on unsolved mysteries

"I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U..."

I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.

Know what would look good on you? CRUTCHES

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

You look much more attractive in person than you do through my telescope.

Do you like heavy metal? Because I can teach you how to scream.

Hi, (look her up and down) you'll do

Guy walks up and checks your tag- "just what I thought...made in heaven."

Do I know you from somewhere, because I don't recognize you with your clothes on?

Girl, you gotta be tired coz you been runnin through my mind all day.

Are you a toaster, cause I wanna take a bath with you.

Hey can i have a lock of your hair? Cause I want to make a clone out of you.

I'm a necrophiliac, so why don't you drop dead and I'll think about it!

Are you a corn field, because I'm stalking you.

Just say yes now and I won't have to spike your drink.

I killed your crush so we can be together forever

Just call me baby, cause I wanna be inside you for the next 9 months

Got two nipples for a dime?

Come on, Im a friend of your dad.

the last time I saw a body like yours, I was burying it in my basement

I'd suck a fart out of your ass.

If I touch you do you promise not to call the cops?

Help, somethings wrong with my eyes - I just can't take them off you.

You look to classy for pickup lines, thats why I have roofies.

Can I read your t-shirt in braille.

Hickory Dickery Dock, It's time to suck my cock

"I'm working on a porn site. Wanna be in the first video?"

Did you swallow a light bulb or something because you are shiny!

I'm throwing a house party....and the only person invited is you

Call the cops...See Who Comes first.

I wanna eat your shit on bread!

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, coz every time I see you, you turn me on!

I have a fetish for feet, can I lick your toes?(if no) Please?!

I got u something special baby, it's the condom I used when I lost my virginity

Hi, I'm the new Milkman. Do you want it in the front or the back?

I think I feel like Richard Gere - I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.

I dont want to come between you... or do I

I find your lack of nudity disturbing

Do you wipe front to back or back to front?

Just say yes now and I wont have to spike your drink

It's hard for me to concentrate around you because all the blood from my brain has immediately gone to my boner

If I could be anything, I'd love to be your bathwater.

Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?

I like my coffee like I like my women...sealed in an air tight bag in the freezer

You might want to call a bomb squad, because there's going to be an explosion in your anus

"There's a tornado, come in my basement"

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

If your feeling down, remember, I'll feel you back up

I've got a knife and a penis and one of them is going inside you.

(Smell a girl) "I smell that you are in season... want to breed?"

My couch pulls out, but I don't

I wanna eat the flavors off your tampon

I just want to be friends....with your insides

Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?

Hi, I've been undressing you with my eyes all night long, and think it's time to see if I'm right.

Let me spell my love for you S-T-A-L-K-E-R

You have the cutest smile when you sleep


I'm sick. My medicine is to talk to you.

If you ever want to see your children again, you'll do what I want.

Do you believe in helping the homeless? [If yes] Take me home with you.

Hi, I'm a fashion photographer. Would you like to be in my next photo shoot?

If I'd follow you home, would you keep me?

hey lets go have sex with monkeys and rape their corpses.

I want to take your skin off and wear it as my own

I have a van out the back and there is free candy in it.

Excuse me, i managed to notice that every time i pass you, a monster grows inside me called "bitch get in my car" i just hope it doesn't escape and make me call after it ...

I only thought about you once today--I just never stopped.

(look at a girl's crotch then her eyes) "You gonna eat that?"

What's the difference between a boner and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini right now

I'm kind of new to this environment... can you show me the way to your apartment/house?

I'm the kind of man who deserves to have women I don't deserve.

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

I would drag my balls through 200 yards of broken glass to kiss the dick that fucked you last.

(Walk by a girl, stop and go back to her)"What kind of perfume are u wearing?" (she will say a perfume)"thats lovely, thats what a woman SHOULD smell like"

Shall I wait for you in my car or will the closet suffice?

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?

Was you Father an Alien? Cos honey on planet earth there's nothing else like you!

You're so good lookin' I'd drink your bath water.

I eat pussy, how do you like me so far?

You're eyes are bluer than the atlantic ocean and baby, I'm all lost at sea.

You're like a dictionary - you add meaning to my life!

You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.

OOOOOh baby u must have wished upon a star cause today is your lucky day!

Do you like rainbows, cus you can taste my rainbow any time.

Hey baby I wish you were the yellow pages , cuz i'd let my fingers spread you open

Want to have sex? (person seys\'no\') *You look disappointed* oh....ok. *look up and say excitedly*...RAPE IT IS!

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