Words To Ponder Joke
Life
is just a phase you're going through...you'll get over it.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government
program.
Age is a very high price to pay for
maturity.
If you look like your passport picture, you
probably need the trip.
Bills travel through the mail at
twice the speed of checks.
A balanced diet is a cookie
in each hand.
Middle age is when broadness of the mind
and narrowness of the waist change places.
Opportunities
always look bigger going than coming.
I don't repeat
gossip, so listen carefully.
Lord, if I can't be skinny,
let all my friends be fat.
My idea of cleaning the house
is sweeping the floor with a glance.
Discover Wildlife!
Have Kids!
"Genuine Antique Person," Been there, done
that, can't remember!
Our policy is to always blame the
computer.
Take my advice, I'm not using it!
I love to give homemade gifts... umm, which one of the kids
would you like?
By the time you find greener pastures,
you can't climb the fence!
I quit jogging for health
reasons. My thighs rubbed together so muchit caught my underwear on fire!
Junk is something you throw away three weeks before you
need it.
There is always one more idiot than you counted
on.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural
stupidity.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian
any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to
recognize a mistake when you make it again.
By the time
you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
Thou shalt
not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Someone who thinks
logically provides a nice contrast to the realworld.
I
believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I'm in the
bathroom.
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.