TOP 15 Mafia Valentines Joke

15. My love for you...
it came and went.
So your feet are now
in wet cement.

14. I'm here to fulfill
your fondest wishes -
Now that your husband
sleeps with the fishes.

13. Lie down with me -
It's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying
wit' Jimmy Hoffa.

12. I picked up this card
from a slim selection,
But that's all they offer
in witness protection.
Love, J. Doe

11. I've waited so long for you to be mine!
Now that Sinatra's dead, be *my* Valentine.

10. Be my Valentine... and we can do it execution-style.

9. Cinderella got her fella,
with a slipper made of glass.
So please be mine, Valentine,
or I'll have to whack your ass.

8. Violets are blue,
roses are red.
I blew up your car,
So why ain't you dead?

7. The day we met, my little pet,
I knew with just one look,
You'd bear a son, and now that's done,
So shut your mouth and cook!

6. Hey.

5. Youse da greatest.
Youse da best.
But you're untouchable,
Like Elliot Ness.

4. Lust is fleeting,
True love lingers.
Be mine always,
And you'll keep your fingers.

3. Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know,
dis ain't really what a guy's heart looks like.

2. Valentine, Dear, lend me a hand,
So I won't be a self-made man.

1. When a goon makes you die,
cuz you told him goodbye,
- that's amore!

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