Think About It Joke
The journey of a thousand miles
begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to
steal the neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
Never test the depth of the water
with both feet.
It may be that
your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
If you think nobody cares if
you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember
anything.
If you lend someone
$20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.
Some days you are the bug, some
days you are the windshield.
If
at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
Never ask a barber if he thinks
you need a haircut.
Good judgment comes from bad
experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
The quickest way to double your
money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
I didn't say it was your fault. I
said I was going to blame you.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking
for a bigger stick.
Before you
criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and
you have their shoes.
If Barbie
is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no
lifeguard.
Don't be
irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
A dropped wrench will always end
up exactly 1/2 inch beyond your reach.