Last century wisdom Joke
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not
lead. Do not walk ahead of me,
for I may not follow. Do
not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the
hell
alone.
2. The journey of a thousand
miles begins with a broken fan belt and a
leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So,
if you're going to steal the
neighbor's newspaper,
that's the time to do it.
4. It's a
small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
5. Sex is like air; it's not important
unless you're not getting any.
6. We
are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
7. Give a man a fish and he will eat for
a day. Teach him how to fish,
and he will sit in a boat
and drink beer all day.
8. I don't
have a license to kill. I have a learner's permit.
9. Taxation WITH representation isn't so
hot either!
10. If you drink, don't
park. Accidents cause people.
11. Some
days you are the bug, and some days you are the windshield.
12. Don't worry. It's only seems kinky
the first time.
13. If at first you
don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
14. Don't squat with spurs on.
15. Never ask a barber if you need a
haircut.
16. Good judgment comes from
bad experience and a lot of that comes from
bad
judgment.
17. Never miss a chance to
shut up.
18. Generally speaking, you
aren't learning much when your mouth is
moving.
19. Anything worth taking seriously is
worth making fun of.
20. Before you
criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them,
you're a mile away and you have
their shoes.
21. Experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it.
22. The
problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.