IT WASN'T MY FAULT Joke - More Single Liners

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IT WASN'T MY FAULT
The ingenuity of drivers involved in accidents, in seeking to assert
their innocence, or at least excuse their errors, is apparently
inexhaustible, judging from this genuine selection of excerpts from
insurance claims.
<> I consider that neither vehicle was to blame, but if either were
      to blame, it was the other one.

<> I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault as he had been
      run over before.

<> One wheel went into the ditch, my feet jumped from the brake to
      the accelerator pedal, leaped across to the other side, and
      jammed into the trunk of a tree.

<> I collided with a stationary tram car coming the other way.

<> To avoid a collision, I ran into the other car.

<> The car had to turn sharper than was necessary, owing to an invisible truck.

<> After the accident, a working gentleman offered to be witness in my favour.

<> I collided with a stationary tree.

<> The other man altered his mind, so I had run over him.

<> I told the other idiot what he was, and went on my way.

<> I can give no details of the accident, as I was somewhat concussed
     at the time.

<> A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
<> I blew my horn, but it would not work as it had been stolen.

<> I unfortunately ran over a pedestrian, and the old gentleman was
taken to hospital, much regretting the circumstances.

<> I thought the side window was down, but it was up, as I found when
I put my head through it.

<> A cow wandered into my car. I was afterwards informed that the
cow was half-witted.

<> A bull was standing nearby, and a fly must have tickled him, as he
gored my car.

<> She suddenly saw me, lost her head, and we met.

<> A truck backed through my windscreen into my wife's face.

<> I ran into a shop window, and sustained injuries to my wife.

<> I misjudged a lady crossing the street.

<> Coming home, I drove into the wrong house, and collided with a
tree I haven't got.

<> I left my car unattended for a minute, when by accident or design,
it ran away.

<> The other car collided with mine, without giving any warning of
its intentions.
By Comix

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