Cheer Up, If Joke

The parachute company says you'll get a full refund.
They say the house didn't float very far at all.
We're all amazed that you go on living each day.
Well, at least the operation was a partial success.
The "National Enquirer" just loved those nude shots of you.
The insects hardly touched your other eyebrow.
The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.
At least the passenger side air bag inflated.
Jenny Jones wants you for this "secret admirer show."
The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.

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