Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in
danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the
captain bellowed to his first mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The first mate
quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead
the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties
occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. The men sat around on
deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked to the
captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the

The captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give,
exhorted, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show blood, and
thus you men will continue to fight unafraid."

The men sat in silence, marveling at the courage of such a man. The next
morning, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending
boarding parties. The crew cowered in fear, but the captain, calm as ever,
bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" Once again, the battle was on, and the
captain and his crew repelled both boarding parties, though this time, more
casualties occurred. Later that day, however, the lookout screamed that
there were pirate ships, ten of them, all with boarding parties on their
way. The men became silent and looked to the captain, their leader, for his
usual command.

The captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my brown pants!"

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