A man has been shipwrecked on a desert island for ten years. Then
one day he is down at the shoreline when he spots a ship on the
horizon. He frantically waves his arms and jumps up and down
shouting, until he spies a rowboat being let down into the water
from the ship. About ten minutes later the rowboat reaches the
shore carrying a man in a captain's uniform.
"Thank Christ for that!" says our shipwrecked hero, "I thought I was
never going to be rescued."
"How long have you been here?" asks the Captain.
"Ten years, ten long years" replies the man.
"Ten years?" says the Captain, "how have you coped all that time on
"Well, I'm quite a resourceful fellow, I've built my own house;
there it is, over there, Number 1!"
"But ten years!" says the Captain, "ten years without sex!".
"Ah well, that's not quite true" says the man shyly.
"What do you mean?" inquires the Captain.
"Well, about six months ago I was down here on the shore washing my
feet, when I noticed an ostrich up the beach with it's head buried
in the sand and it's ass facing me. Well, I thought it's been nine
and a half years, so I crept up behind it and WALLOP!"
"Ugh God, that must have been disgusting!" cries the genuinely
"Well, it was alright for the first five miles, but then we got out