Hurricane Jokes

Short Hurricane Jokes

Q: What did the Hurricane Harvey say to Texas?
A: I have my eye on you.

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

Q: How do hurricane's see?
A: With one eye.

Q: Why did former FEMA director Michael Brown criticized Obama for "responding to Hurricane Sandy too quickly?
A: Because women don't like premature evacuation.

Q: What are hurricanes with a central dense overcast over the eye called?
A: Hurricanes with cataracts.

Q: What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
A: Hang onto your leaves, this will be no ordinary breeze.

Q: Why did Hurricane Katrina get arrested?
A: For speeding, theft, vandalism, assault and murder

Q: What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common?
A: They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.

Q: Who do you call the batmobile getting banged up in Houston?
A: Harvey Dent.

Q: Why is a Hurricane like the typical woman?
A: Shes gonna come in all wet and wild and leave you without a car or house!

Q: What is a Tropical Storms favorite song?
A: "Rock You Like A Hurricane!"

Q: Did you hear about Houstons newest attraction?
A: The Worlds Largest Aquarium

Q: What do you get if you a cross a card game with a hurricane?
A: Bridge over troubled water.

Q: What do you call a hurricane whose had too much vodka?
A: A Harvey Wallbanger.

Q: Why do they call some storms Tropical Depressions?
A: Because it's a storm that is suffering from a "Depression" because it couldn't become a hurricane.

Hurricane Harvey? I bet you the people in Houston would've evacuated sooner if they named it Hurricane Hillary.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Hurricane who?
Hurry! Cane you run away from the storm?

The Jersey Shore house survived Hurricane Sandy proving once again that there is no God.

Donald Trump: "I demand to see Hurricane Harvey's birth certificate."

What if Gangnam Style was actually a giant rain dance and we've brought Hurricane Sandy on ourselves?

Snooki is a lot like Hurricane Sandy. They're both heading to The Jersey Shore with intentions to blow everyone within a 60 mile radius.

A hurricane blew across the Caribbean. It didn't take long for the expensive yacht to be swamped by high waves, sinking without a trace. There were only two survivors: the boat's owner, Dr. Smythe and the steward, Marcus who managed to swim to the closest island.
After reaching the deserted strip of land, the steward was crying and very upset that they would never be found. Dr. Smythe on the other hand was quite calm, relaxing against a tree.
"Dr. Smythe, Dr. Smythe, how can you be so calm?" cried Marcus. "We're going to die on this lonely island. We'll never be discovered here."
"Sit down and listen to what I have to say, Marcus." began the confident Dr. Smythe.
"Five years ago, I gave the United Way $500,000 and another $500,000 to my church. I donated the same amounts four years ago. And, three years ago, I did very well in the stock market, so I contributed $750,000 to each. Last year, business was good, so the two charities each got a million dollars." stated Dr. Smythe.
"So what?" shouted Marcus.
"Well, it's time for their annual fundraising drives, and I know they're going to find me!" smiled Dr. Smythe.

Hurricane Katrina Jokes

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