Flood Jokes
Q: What detergent do Flood victims use to wash their clothes?
A: Tide!
Q: Why is massive flooding a great way to meet your neighbors?
A: Their junk keeps floating into your bedroom!
Q: What's worse than an earthquake ravaging a city?
A: The ensuing Tsunami flood washing everything away!
Q: What did the flood say to Japan?
A: Nothing, it just waved
Q: Did you hear about the new fad Japanese diet?
A: Swim Fast
Q: What is a Tsunami's favorite song?
A: The Flood!
Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
A: Flood Victims
Japanese Banks
The tsunami flooding is now causing trouble for Japans banking industry.
Q: What's the best part about living in a flood plain?
A: The trip to the river just got shorter.
Origami bank has folded.
Sumo bank has gone belly up.
Bonsai bank has cut back some of its branches.
Karoake bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.
Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped
God Will Save Me!
It had been raining for days and days, and a local river crested, flooding many houses. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.
As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.
The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.
Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"