Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing
a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your
momma?"
Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder...
louder!
Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
If they start out with, "How are you today?" say,
"I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have
all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog
just died . . . "
If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out
blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her
to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give
your credit card number to a complete stranger.
Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home
incarceration" and ask if they could bring you some beer.
Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.
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