Vocal Jokes
Q: How can you tell when a tenor is really stupid?
A: When the other tenors notice.
Ever hear the one about the tenor who was so off-key that even the other tenors
could tell?
What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals?
Autotuna
What do you call very bad vocals only harmonized?
A-crapella!
Q: What do you call a computer that sings with powerful emotion?
A: A-Dell
Q: Did you hear about the woman who couldn't find a singing partner?
A: She had to buy a duet yourself kit.
Q: Why was the soprano arrested?
A: She was in treble.
Q: What do you call a singing vegetable?
A: Elvis Parsley.
Q: How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to do it, and five to say, "It's too high for him."
Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?
A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."
Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never
sing again.
Person 2: Yes, but it's much more terrible if he doesn't realize it.
Q: Dad, why do the singers rock left and right while performing on stage?
A: Because, son, it is more difficult to hit a moving target.
Q: Mom, why do you always stand by the window when I practice for my singing
lessons?
A: I don't want the neighbours to think I'm employing corporal punishment, dear.
Q: How many altos does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They can't get up that high.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the opera?
A: I don't remember how it goes, but the punchline is "the soprano got hit by a car".
Q: What kind of music are balloons afraid of?
A: Pop Music.
Q: What do all great opera singers have in common?
A: They are all dead.
A young child told his mother "When I grow up I'm going to be a singer."
His mother responded "Well honey, you know you can't do both."
Q: What do you call a successful opera singer?
A: A woman whose husband has 2 jobs.
Q: What's the difference between an opera singer and garbage?
A: The garbage gets taken out once a week.
Q: What singer is most popular for the bees?
A: Bee-yonce
Q: What's the definition of an optimist?
A: A backup singer with a mortgage.
Q: What's the difference between an opera singer and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.
Q: What is the perfect weight for a mezzo soprano?
A: 3 and a half pounds including the urn.
Marriage is like singing an opera. It looks easy until you try it.
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Get the drummer to do it.
Q: What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common?
A: They both suck without Cream.
Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.
Q: How do you tell when your lead singer is at the door?
A: He can't find the key and doesn't know when to come in.
Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and an All-Pro offensive
lineman?
A: Stage makeup.
Q: How many lead singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. He holds the bulb while the world revolves around him.
Q: How do you know a drunk singer is at the door?
A: She can't find her key.
Q: What do you call a bunch of pop singers in a hot tub?
A: Vegetable soup.
Q: Did you hear about the karaoke singer who sang in tune?
A: Neither did I.
Q: What happens when you sing country music backwards?
A: You get your wife and job back.
Q: What is the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
A: Most musicians have never been inside a Porsche.
Q: What do you call an elf who sings?
A: a wrapper!
Q: Did you hear about the female opera singer who had quite a range at the lower
end of the scale.
A: She was known as the deep C diva.
Q: What is the missing link between the bass and the ape?
A: The baritone.
Q: What is the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?
A: About 10 pounds.
Yo singing so bad that when u sing the windows say "Shut up we don't have insurance"
She often broke into a song because she couldn�t find the key.