Q: How many lead trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Fifty. One to do it and the others to stand around and say, "I could do
that better.
Q: What do lead trumpet players use for birth control?
A: Their personality.
Q: What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong?
A: King Kong is more sensitive.
Q: What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?
A: Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
The best recording of the Haydn Trumpet Concerto is Music Minus One.
Q: How to trumpet players traditionally greet each other?
A: "Hi. I'm better than you."
Q: How do you know when a trumpet player is at your door?
A: The doorbell shrieks!
Doctor's Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, I haven't had a bowel movement in a week!" The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, "If it doesn't work, let me know."
A week later the guy is back: "Doc, still no movement!"
The doctor says, "Hmm, guess you need something stronger," and prescribes a powerful laxative.
Still another week later the poor guy is back: "Doc, STILL nothing!"
The doctor, worried, says, "We'd better get some more information about you to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a musician, I play the trumpet."
The doctor looks up and says, "Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get something to eat!"
Saint Peter
St Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.
The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."
St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!"
The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."
"Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?"
The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime."
"Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?
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