Harmonica Jokes

Q: What's the range of a harmonica?
A: Twenty yards if you've got a good arm!

Q: What do you call ten harmonicas at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start.

Q: What do you call a cow that plays the harmonica?
A: A moo-sician

Q: What do you call a eternal harmony in California?
A: HarmoniCA.

How do you get a million dollars playing the harmonica?
Start off with 2 million.

Man: Girl, I can play you just like my guitar....
Woman: I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica.

Marriage is like playing the harmonica. It looks easy until you try it.

Q: Did you hear the joke about blues music?
A: I don't remember how it goes, but the punchline is "the harmonica player got hit by a car".

Q: What is the perfect weight for a harmonica player?
A: 3 and a half pounds including the urn.

Q: What does a harmonica and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

A young child told his mother "When I grow up I'm going to play the harmonica."
His mother responded "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Q: What do all great harmonica players have in common?
A: They are all dead.

Q: What does a harmonica and a baseball have in common?
A: People cheer when you hit them with a bat.

Why did the man playing the harmonica cross the road?......I thought while accelerating.

Q: What do you call a successful harmonica player?
A: A guy whose wife has 2 jobs.

Q: What do you call a bunch of harmonica players in a hot tub?
A: Vegetable soup.

Q: Did you hear about the harmonica player who played in tune?
A: Neither did I.

Q: What's the difference between a harmonica player and garbage?
A: The garbage gets taken out once a week.

Q: What's the definition of an optimist?
A: A harmonica player with a mortgage.

Q: What's the difference between a harmonica and a trampoline?
A: You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.

Q: Why do musicians leave their harmonicas on the dashboard?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What's the difference between a harmonica player and god?
A: God doesn't think he's a harmonica player.

Q: How do you keep your jewelry from being stolen?
A: Leave it in a harmonica case.

Steve Wright: I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. I've been arrested three times for practicing.

Harmonica Gift
Thanks for the harmonica you gave me for Christmas," Little Johnny said to his uncle the first time he saw him after the holidays. "It's the best Christmas present I ever got."

"That's great," smiled his uncle. "Have you learned how to play it yet?"

"Oh, I don't play it," Little Johnny said. "My mom gives me a dollar a day not to play it during the day and my dad gives me five dollars a week not to play it at night."

Doctor's Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, I haven't had a bowel movement in a week!" The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, "If it doesn't work, let me know."

A week later the guy is back: "Doc, still no movement!"

The doctor says, "Hmm, guess you need something stronger," and prescribes a powerful laxative.

Still another week later the poor guy is back: "Doc, STILL nothing!"

The doctor, worried, says, "We'd better get some more information about you to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a musician, I play the harmonica."

The doctor looks up and says, "Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get something to eat!"

Saint Peter
St Peter is checking ID's at the Pearly Gates, and first comes a Texan. "Tell me, what have you done in life?" says St. Peter.

The Texan says, "Well, I struck oil, so I became rich, but I didn't sit on my laurels--I divided all my money among my entire family in my will, so our descendants are all set for about three generations."

St. Peter says, "That's quite something. Come on in. Next!"

The second guy in line has been listening, so he says, "I struck it big in the stock market, but I didn't selfishly just provide for my own like that Texan guy. I donated five million to Save the Children."

"Wonderful!" says Saint Peter. "Come in. Who's next?"

The third guy has been listening, and says timidly with a downcast look, "Well, I only made five thousand dollars in my entire lifetime."

"Heavens!" says St. Peter. "What instrument did you play?

A group of terrorists hijacked a plane full of harmonica players. They called ground control with a list of demands.
Then they told the negotiator if their demands aren't met they will release one harmonica player an hour.

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