Jay Leno Jokes
"Last night in his speech, President Bush called for a complete overhaul of the tax code. He said he was shocked to find out that some millionaires in this country were still paying taxes." --Jay Leno
"65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women." --Jay Leno
"President Bush said yesterday it doesn't make any sense to raise taxes on the rich because rich people can figure out how to dodge taxes. Then Dick Cheney said 'Shut up! You're ruining everything.'" --Jay Leno
"The IRS said today anyone with a refund coming from their 2001 taxes will lose it if they don't pick it up by April 15th. If it is more then three years they will just keep it. How come it doesn't work that way with back taxes?" -Jay Leno
"We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no income tax this year." -Jay Leno
"President Bush released his tax returns yesterday. He listed the economy as a liability. He gets to write that off." -Jay Leno
"Technically, you're not paying taxes. According to the Bush administration, your bank account is being liberated." -Jay Leno
"Today the IRS gave some guidelines on how to avoid getting audited. Number one, don't list deductions that will raise a red flag. Number two, make sure you file on time. Number three, don't make any stupid anti-war speech at the Academy Awards." -Jay Leno
"The IRS now says you can deduct weight loss plans off your taxes. You can write it off because the government has officially declared obesity a disease. And it's a disease, you can deduct medical expenses. That shows what a difference an administration can make. See under Bush, obesity is a disease. Under Clinton it was just sexy." -Jay Leno