IRS One-Liners Jokes

Q: Post Office just recalled their newest stamps:
A: They had pictures of IRS agents on them, and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: How are an apple and a I.R.S. agent alike?
A: They both look good hanging from a tree.

Q: What's the difference between an IRS agent and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the newspaper?

Q: What did the terrorist that hijacked a jumbo-jet full of I.R.S. agents do?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

Q: What do you call 25 I.R.S. agents buried up to their chins in cement?
A: Not enough cement.

Q: Why don't IRS agents audit cows?
A: Because farmers milk them dry.

Q: What do you call 25 skydiving I.R.S. agents?
A: Skeet.

Q: What do you throw to a drowning I.R.S. agent?
A: His co-workers.

Q: Why don't skunks have to pay taxes?
A: Because they only have One scent!

Q: What does an IRS agent and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What did the cat say after he was audited?
A: I'm paw!

Q: Why are tax jokes getting dumb and dumber?
A: Because IRS agents have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What do auditors use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: How much did the IRS take from the moon?
A: 4 quarters.

Q: What do auditors and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

Q: What's brown and looks really good on an I.R.S. agent?
A: A Doberman.

Q: What's the difference between an IRS agent and a gigolo?
A: A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

Q: What's the difference between an I.R.S. agent and a mosquito?
A: One is a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.

Dear I.R.S. please remove me from your mailing list.

You can never appreciate your kids more than at tax time.

I rented a dvd the other day, called "Snakes on a Plane". I thought it was about IRS agents going to a convention!

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