Back to: Miscellaneous Jokes : Food Jokes
Q: What water yields award winning Turnips?
A: Perspiration!
Q: What kind of socks do you need to plant turnips?
A: Garden hose!
Q: Where did the turnip go to have a few drinks?
A: The Salad Bar!
Q: What is the difference between turnips and snot?
A: Children will eat their snot!
Two turnips
One day two turnips, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.
The uninjured turnip called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured turnip was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.
After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured turnip, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."
"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".
Turnip, Pickle, & Penis
A turnip, a pickle and a penis were talking about their awful lives.
The turnip said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me.
The pickle said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar.
The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!
Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.
A banana stuck in one of his ears, a turnip in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.
The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."
Math Mistake
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked, "If you had 4 turnips and I asked for one, how many would you have left?"
Quickly he replied, "If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4 turnips."
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Turnip !
Turnip who?
Turnip for work at nine or you're fired !
Knock Knock
Who's there !
Turnip !
Turnip who?
Turnip the heat it's cold in here!
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