Sushi Jokes

Two girls: "A tray of sushi, please."
Waiter: "To eat or to post photos of on Instagram?

What did Sushi A say to Sushi B?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with?

Why did Kit Fisto storm out of the sushi restaurant?
Because they were serving Mon Calamari.

Why is masago orange?
Because water makes it rusty.

What did the sushi say to the bee?

What did the itamae (chef) say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod!

What do they put nutella on a salmon roll?
When you order salmonella.

Why did the vegan start eating sushi?
Just for the halibut!

Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
It's called "Sosumi".

What do you call a sushi roll that sings pop music?
Spicy Autotuna.

Why did the duck say bang?
Because he wanted a firequacker roll.

How do you know if your sushi chef is a terrorist?
The dynamite rolls are made Nitroglycerin.

Why did the little girl want skittles in her sushi?
Because she wanted to taste the Rainbow Roll.

What do ghosts put in their Philadelphia rolls?
Scream cheese

What kind of sushi does Emilia Clarke order?
Mother of Dragons roll.

What's inside of candy sushi?
Swedish Fish.

What do you call sushi with a tie?

What did the blind man say when he passed the sushi restaurant?
Good morning ladies.

Yo mama so dumb she thought a tsunami was a kind of Japanese sushi.

Yo mama's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.

Do your panties smell like fish because I like sushi.

Me: When you look at your sushi rolls what do you see?
Friend: I just seafood (see food)

Banking Crisis

Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, it was today learned that Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale and is going for a song.

Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.

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