Strawberry Jokes
Q: What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit?
A: Straw-berries!
Q: What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk?
A: The worlds best Sundae!
Q: What do you call a sad strawberry?
A: A blueberry.
Q: What did one strawberry say to the other strawberry?
A: If you weren't so sweet, we wouldn't be in this jam!
Q: Why were the little strawberries upset?
A: Because their parents were in a jam!
Q: Whats the difference between a strawberry and a slut?
A: The Strawberry isn't as messy when you eat it!
Q: What resembles half a strawberry?
A: The other half.
Patient: Doctor, there is a strawberry growing out of my head.
Doctor: Oh, that's easy. Just put some cream on it!
What do you call strawberries playing the guitar?
A jam session.
What do you call a strawberry that uses foul language?
Berry Rude.
How many grams of protein are in a strawberry pi?
3.14159265
A strawberry is not an actual berry, but a banana is.
Three Girls
Three girls named Marie, Alexis and Taylor were driving through the country, when all of a sudden their car stalls. Marie remembers seeing a farm a little ways back, so her and Alexis walk to the farm, leaving Taylor guarding the car.
When Marie and Alexis get to the farm, they tell the farmer what happened. The farmer raises a gun to their head and tells them to get a fruit, vegetable, whatever, just get something from the garden. Marie grabs a turnip, and Alexis grabs a single strawberry. Just as they come back into the farmer's house, Taylor walks in. He tells Taylor to do the same as they just did, and Taylor heads off towards the garden. While she's out in the garden, the farmer tells Marie and Alexis to shove whatever they have up their ass, and who ever laughs, dies. Marie laughs first, so the farmer shoots her. Then Alexis laughs and she gets killed too.
So they are floating out of their bodies, and Alexis asks Marie why she died. Marie said that the thought of sticking a turnip up your ass was just too funny. Marie then asked Alexis why she laughed, Alexis said: "I saw Taylor coming around the corner with a pineapple!
No Strawberries
A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any strawberries? "
The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of strawberries, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the strawberries are.
The stockboy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of strawberries, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stockboy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the strawberries, I need some strawberries right now!"
The stockboy, getting frustated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answers a couple of questions and I will get you your strawberries from the back."
The lady agrees and the man starts the questions.
"Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stockboy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. "
The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, Fuc, as in strawberries. "
She replies "There is no Fuck in strawberries?"
To which the stockboy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"
Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.
A banana stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a strawberry stuck in one nostril.
The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."