Soup Jokes

How do you know your eating rabbit soup?
When there's a hare in it.

What do you call 2000 pounds of Chinese soup?
Won Ton.

What did the duck eat for lunch?
Soup and Quackers.

What did the Soup Nazi say to the canine?
What Soup Dawg.

What's so special about twitter alphabet soup?
It only has 140 letters.

How do the New England Patriots eat their soup?
In a Super Bowl.

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

What do you call fake ramen noodles?
An impasta.

If fish is brain food, what do dumb people eat?
Noodle soup.

What do you get when you spill soup on a comic book?

What soup killed Rob Stark?
Italian Wedding Massacre.

How do you make soup rich?
Add 24 carrots.

Why didn't the kids eat their soup?
Because they're stew peed

What does a dragon eat with his soup?

How did Reese eat her soup?

What is a ghosts favorite soup?
Scream of Broccoli.

How do the Vietnamese like their soup?

What do you get when you cross Elon Musk and lobster bisque?
A souped up car.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
Because he ate his soup before it was cool.

Why did the principal bring Clam Chowder to school?
For the Soup-erintendent.

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and leave, it could spell disaster.

Fly In My Soup
Waiter, there's a dead fly in my soup!
Yes sir, it's the hot water that kills them.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Don't worry sir, the spider on the breadroll will get 'em.

Atheist: What's this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: Praying.
Atheist: Very funny. I can't eat this. Take it back.
Waiter: You see? The fly's prayers were answered.

Waiter, waiter, there's a bee in my soup.
Yes Sir, it's the fly's day off.

Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Its OK, Sir, there's no extra charge!

Waiteress, there's a fly in my soup!
No sir, that's a cockroach, the fly is on your steak.

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?
Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir...

"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?"
"I think it's doing the backstroke!"

Waiter, there is a fly in my soup!
Sorry sir, maybe I forgot about it when I removed the other three.

"Waiter, would you please get your thumb out of my soup?"
"So sorry sir, but I have a boil and the doctor told me to keep it warm."

Customer: "Waiter! There is a fly in my soup! Get me another one!"
Waiter: "Yes sir."
Waiter:"Chef! Another fly for the man please!"

Waiter this soup this soup taste funny.
Then why are you not laughing?

Naked Dinner
A man and a woman were celebrating their 50th anniversary. They were talking before their dinner about how they should celebrate their big evening. The woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed. Later that night at the table, the woman says, "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were fifty years ago." The man replies, "That's because they are sitting in your soup."

Old Couple
An old man and an old lady are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her robe and yells "Super Pussy!" The old man says "I'll have the soup."

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