Sandwich Jokes
Why do Zombies go to Subway?
Because they like to Eat Flesh.
What did bacon say to tomato?
Lettuce get together.
Why did the tomato turn red?
It saw the sandwich dressing!
Why don't sandwiches like warm weather?
Things get Toasty!
What did the vegetables say to the Sandwich?
Lettuce all smile.
Where do you get an Indian Sandwich?
At the New Delhi.
What is the recipe for Honeymoon Sandwich?
Lettuce alone without dressing.
What do you eat at the beach?
A Sand-wich.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
How did Burger King get Diary Queen Pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his whopper.
Who casts spells at the beach?
The Sand-witch.
I would never try to poison you hunny!
Now eat your Pb and Jelly sandwich.
What do you call a woman who can't make sandwiches?
Single.
What do you call a man who makes women in the kitchen jokes?
A Virgin.
Where do golfers go to eat?
The sand-wedge shop.
Why don't Americans eat snail sandwiches?
Because they like "Fast Food".
What did the fisherman catch when he used peanut butter as bait?
A jellyfish.
A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"
Why did bread break up with margarine?
For a butter lover.
Why do hamburgers go to the gym?
To get better buns.
Veggies? That's what my food eats!
My decision to order a veggie sandwich was a missed steak.
Any chicken sandwich can be a chicken caesar sandwich if you stab it enough.
Panda
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
Bread Jokes
Bacon Jokes
Beef Jokes
Lettuce Jokes
Cucumber Jokes
Tomato Jokes
Avocado Jokes
Carrot Jokes
Burger Jokes