Pineapple Jokes
Q: When is an apple not an apple?
A: When it's a pineapple!
Q: What kind of fruit do trees like the most
A: Pine-apple
Q: What do you when if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree?
A: A pineapple.
Q: Whats the difference between a pineapple and a slut?
A: The Pineapple isn't as messy when you eat it!
Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
A: SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
Q: What do you call a fat pineapple?
A: A pineapple chunk!
Q: What do you get when you cross Ice, chocolate, a big strawberry, a giant pineapple, and cold milk?
A: The worlds best Sundae!
Q: Why did the pineapple stop in the middle of the road?
A: Because he ran out of juice
Q: What did the pineapple say to the pineapple pie?
A: "You've got some crust."
Girl, if you were a fruit, you'd be a fineapple.
Three Girls
Three girls named Marie, Alexis and Taylor were driving through the country, when all of a sudden their car stalls. Marie remembers seeing a farm a little ways back, so her and Alexis walk to the farm, leaving Taylor guarding the car.
When Marie and Alexis get to the farm, they tell the farmer what happened. The farmer raises a gun to their head and tells them to get a fruit, vegetable, whatever, just get something from the garden. Marie grabs a turnip, and Alexis grabs a single grape. Just as they come back into the farmer's house, Taylor walks in. He tells Taylor to do the same as they just did, and Taylor heads off towards the garden. While she's out in the garden, the farmer tells Marie and Alexis to shove whatever they have up their ass, and who ever laughs, dies. Marie laughs first, so the farmer shoots her. Then Alexis laughs and she gets killed too.
So they are floating out of their bodies, and Alexis asks Marie why she died. Marie said that the thought of sticking a turnip up your ass was just too funny. Marie then asked Alexis why she laughed, Alexis said: "I saw Taylor coming around the corner with a pineapple!
No pineapples
A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any pineapples? "
The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of pineapples, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the pineapples are.
The stockboy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of pineapples, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stockboy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the pineapples, I need some pineapples right now!"
The stockboy, getting frustated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answers a couple of questions and I will get you your pineapples from the back."
The lady agrees and the man starts the questions.
"Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stockboy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. "
The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, Fuc, as in pineapples. "
She replies "There is no Fuck in pineapples?"
To which the stockboy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"