Orange Short Jokes
Why do oranges wear suntan lotion?
Because they peel.
Why did the Orange go out with a Prune?
Because he couldn't find a Date!
What does an Orange sweat?
Why did the blonde girl stare at the carton of orange juice?
It said concentrate.
Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
Because it ran out of juice!
What did the apple say to the orange?
Nothing stupid, apples don't talk.
Why do the Tennessee Volunteers have orange jerseys?
So they can play the game, direct traffic, and pick up trash without changing.
Where do plastic oranges live?
Why did the orange go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
What kind of monkey doesn't eat bananas?
Why did the orange fail his driving test?
He kept peeling out.
How many marmalade sandwiches did Paddington bear eat?
None he was already stuffed.
What do you call an orange that takes over the world?
Orange Julius Caesar.
Do you now why a orange is smart?
Because it CONCERTRATES!
What do you call the ruthless movie about building a fruit empire?
There Will Be Blood...Oranges.
Why did the fruit bat eat the orange?
Because it had appeal.
What do you call a fruit riding a motorcycle?
An Orange County Chopper.
Why did the man lose his job at the orange juice factory?
He couldn't concentrate!
I thought I was drowning in Crush soda, but it was only a Fanta sea.
Orange Orange who?
Orange you going to answer the door?
Orange you glad I didn't say bannna
Roses are red
Berries are blue
Oranges are orange thats why there cool
Orange Bar Jokes
So this orange walks into a bar.
Bartender looks him over, thinks about it, says, "You know, I like you. You got a lot of a peel."
One day in Contract Law class, Professor Jepson asked one of his better students, "Now if you were to give someone an orange, how would you go about it?"
The student replied, "Here's an orange."
The professor was livid. "No! No! Think like a lawyer!" The student then recited, "Okay, I'd tell him, 'I hereby give and convey to you all and singular, my estate and interests, rights, claim, title, calim and advantages of and in, said orange, together with all its rind, juice, pulp, and seeds, and all rights and advantages with full power to bite, cut, freeze and otherwise eat, the same, or give the same away with and without the pulp, juice, rind and seeds, anything herein before or hereinafter or in any deed, or deeds, instruments of whatever nature or kind whatsoever to the contrary in anywise notwithstanding..."
A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any oranges? "
The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of oranges, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the oranges are.
The stockboy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of oranges, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stockboy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the oranges, I need some oranges right now!"
The stockboy, getting frustated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answers a couple of questions and I will get you your oranges from the back."
The lady agrees and the man starts the questions.
"Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stockboy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. "
The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, Fuck, as in oranges. "
She replies "There is no Fuck in oranges?"
To which the stockboy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"