Oatmeal Jokes
What do you get when you cross oatmeal & ducks?
Quacker oatmeal!
How did Reese eat her oatmeal?
Witherspoon.
Why did the boy give a girl an oatmeal cookie?
To make a sweet first impression.
What did the kid say when his mother poured oatmeal on him?
How can you be so gruel?
Why doesn't Jay-Z eat oatmeal?
Cause He's got 99 problems but fiber ain't one.
What is the difference between Quacker Oats and the Oregon Ducks?
Quacker Oats belong in a bowl.
Why does a Northwestern Wildcats fan pour his oatmeal on a plate?
He lost his bowls.
Why can't the Minnesota Viking eat oatmeal for breakfast?
Whenever they get too close to a "bowl" they choke!
Why do basketball players love oatmeal cookies?
Because they can dunk them!
Oatmeal cookies are the raisin I have to work out.
Gurl, your thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.
God Is Watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of oatmeal raisin cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."