Oatmeal Jokes

What do you get when you cross oatmeal & ducks?
Quacker oatmeal!

How did Reese eat her oatmeal?

Why did the boy give a girl an oatmeal cookie?
To make a sweet first impression.

What did the kid say when his mother poured oatmeal on him?
How can you be so gruel?

Why doesn't Jay-Z eat oatmeal?
Cause He's got 99 problems but fiber ain't one.

What is the difference between Quacker Oats and the Oregon Ducks?
Quacker Oats belong in a bowl.

Why does a Northwestern Wildcats fan pour his oatmeal on a plate?
He lost his bowls.

Why can't the Minnesota Viking eat oatmeal for breakfast?
Whenever they get too close to a "bowl" they choke!

Why do basketball players love oatmeal cookies?
Because they can dunk them!

Oatmeal cookies are the raisin I have to work out.

Gurl, your thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.

God Is Watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of oatmeal raisin cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

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