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Mushroom Jokes


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Q: Why did the Fungi leave the party?
A: There wasn't mushroom.

Q: Why did the Mushroom get invited to all the parties?
A: 'Cuz he's a fungi!

Q: Why do Toadstools grow so close together?
A: They don't need Mushroom.

Q: What would a mushroom car say?
A: Shroom shroom!

Q: Which vegetable goes best with jacket potatos?
A: Button Mushrooms

Q: What room has no doors, no walls, no floor and no ceiling?
A: A mushroom.

Q: What room can be eaten?
A: A mushroom!

Q: What's an airplanes favorite mushroom?
A: Air-portabela.

Q: Why does Ms. Mushroom go out with Mr. Mushroom?
A: Because he is a fungi (fun guy)!

Q: What does a woman call a mushroom with a 12" penis?
A: A-fun-guy to be with!

Q: What's the only room you can't have in your house?
A: A mushroom.

Q: What do you get if you cross a toadstool and a full suitcase?
A: Not mushroom for your holiday clothes!

Q: Did you hear the joke about the fungus?
A: I could tell it to you, but it might need time to grow on you.

Broccoli: I look like a tree.
Walnut: I look like a brain.
Mushroom: I look like an umbrella.
Banana: Dude! Change the topic.

Walks In A Bar

Mushroom walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms."
Mushroom says, "But I'm a 'fun guy.'"
Bartender says, "I just said we don't serve fungi."
Mushroom says, "No, no, not 'fungi,' 'fun guy.' I made a pun."
Bartender says, "Get the fuck out of my bar."

Two mushrooms walk into a bar.
Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms."
First mushroom says, "But I'm a 'fun guy.'"
Bartender says, "Clever homophonous wordplay aside, I said we don't serve mushrooms."
Second mushroom says, "But we're 'fun guys.'"
Bartender says, "'Fun guys?' That's not even a homophone."

A mushroom went into a bar and saw some algae at a table.
He went up to one and said "You're lookin' all gal to me."
She looked him over and said "And you look like a fun guy." and they took a liken to each other.

No Mushrooms
A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any mushrooms? "

The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of mushrooms, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"

The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the mushrooms are.

The stockboy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of mushrooms, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"

The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stockboy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the mushrooms, I need some mushrooms right now!"

The stockboy, getting frustated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answers a couple of questions and I will get you your mushrooms from the back."

The lady agrees and the man starts the questions.

"Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stockboy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. "

The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, Fuck, as in mushrooms. "

She replies "There is no Fuck in mushrooms?"

To which the stockboy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"

Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.

A carrot stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a mushroom stuck in one nostril.

The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

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