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Mushroom Jokes


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Q: Why did the Fungi leave the party?
A: There wasn't mushroom.

Q: Why did the Mushroom get invited to all the parties?
A: 'Cuz he's a fungi!

Q: Why do Toadstools grow so close together?
A: They don't need Mushroom.

Q: What would a mushroom car say?
A: Shroom shroom!

Q: Which vegetable goes best with jacket potatos?
A: Button Mushrooms

Q: What room has no doors, no walls, no floor and no ceiling?
A: A mushroom.

Q: What room can be eaten?
A: A mushroom!

Q: Why does Ms. Mushroom go out with Mr. Mushroom?
A: Because he is a fungi (fun guy)!

Q: What does a woman call a mushroom with a 12" penis?
A: A-fun-guy to be with!

Q: What's the only room you can't have in your house?
A: A mushroom.

Q: What do you get if you cross a toadstool and a full suitcase?
A: Not mushroom for your holiday clothes!

Q: Did you hear the joke about the fungus?
A: I could tell it to you, but it might need time to grow on you.

Broccoli: I look like a tree.
Walnut: I look like a brain.
Mushroom: I look like an umbrella.
Banana: Dude! Change the topic.

Walks In A Bar

Mushroom walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms."
Mushroom says, "But I'm a 'fun guy.'"
Bartender says, "I just said we don't serve fungi."
Mushroom says, "No, no, not 'fungi,' 'fun guy.' I made a pun."
Bartender says, "Get the fuck out of my bar."

Two mushrooms walk into a bar.
Bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms."
First mushroom says, "But I'm a 'fun guy.'"
Bartender says, "Clever homophonous wordplay aside, I said we don't serve mushrooms."
Second mushroom says, "But we're 'fun guys.'"
Bartender says, "'Fun guys?' That's not even a homophone."

A mushroom went into a bar and saw some algae at a table.
He went up to one and said "You're lookin' all gal to me."
She looked him over and said "And you look like a fun guy." and they took a liken to each other.

Mushroom, Pickle, & Penis
A mushroom, a pickle and a penis were talking about their awful lives.
The mushroom said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me.
The pickle said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar.
The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!

Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.

A carrot stuck in one of his ears, a cucumber in the other ear, and a mushroom stuck in one nostril.

The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."
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