Kale Jokes


What vegetable do all the rich people eat?
Upskale.

What happens when you buy too many greens?
You tip the skales.

What do you call a Disney movie about vegetables?
A Fairy Kale.

Did you hear about the carrot that outran the bunny rabbit?
He lived to tell the kale.

What do you call a vegetable that likes to rain on other people's parade?
Downskale.

What do you call greens in a mini-skirt?
Dressed to Kale (kill).

What do you get when greens party with Alan Garner?
A whale of a kale.

What do you call a romantic comedy about vegetables?
You've Got Kale.

Why is kale never lonely?
Because they come in bunches.

What do you call kales leaves covered in solid gold?
A bunch of money.

Someone who eats kale leaves must like them a whole bunch.

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Kale!
Kale who?
Obviously I have time to kale.

Two Bundles of Kale
One day two bundles of kale, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.

The uninjured kale called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured kale was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.

After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured kale, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."

"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.

A banana stuck in one of his ears, a bundle of kale in the other ear, and a beet stuck in one nostril.

The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

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