Hot Dog Jokes
Q: Did you see the movie about the hot dog?
A: It was an Oscar Wiener.
Q: What do you call a hot dog race?
A: Wiener takes all.
Q: When can a pizza marry a hot dog?
A: After a very frank relationship.
Q: What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
Q: What's the difference between a Yankee Stadium hot dog and a Fenway Park hot dog?
A: You can buy a Yankee Stadium hot dog in October.
Q: What did the hot dog bun say to the hot dog?
A: Stop touching my buns!
Q: What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it?
A: A "hollow-weenie!"
Q: What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua?
A: A hot, diggety dog.
Q: What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A: A hot dog and a six pack of beer.
Q: Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture?
A: None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
Q: Why doesn't Daniel Tosh eat Hot Dogs?
A: He can't find the zipper
Q: What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit?
A: A hot dog.
Q: What do you call a frozen frankfurter?
A: A Chili dog.
Q: Why are hot dogs angry?
A: Because they are always getting roasted.
Q: Why was the man holding a bottle of ketchup?
A: Because it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Q: What do you call a dog with a fever?
A: A hot dog.
Q: What has 100 teeth and eats wieners?
A: A zipper!
Q: What did the Mama Hot Dog say to the little frankfurter?
A: Ketch-up!
Q: Why did the blonde put a sweater on her hot dog?
A: Because she wanted a chili dog.
Q: What do you give a dog with a fever?
A: Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog.
Do you sell hot dogs? Cause you know how to make a wiener stand.
Never make eye contact while eating a hot dog.
Free Beer
Two drunks were trying to figure out how to get beer for free.
They only had a dollar in change between them. "I've got it, follow me." said the first man.
They went to a hot dog stand and bought a dog and threw away the bun.
"We'll go into a bar and order drinks, and when the bartender asks for money, I'll unzip my fly and pull out the hot dog. You drop to your knees and pretend to suck me off."
The second man agrees to this and they start their rounds. When they get to the bar, they sit down and have a beer.
The bartender tells them, "That will be four dollars."
The first man stands up and upzips his fly.
The second man drops to his knees and starts sucking on the hot-dog.
"You faggots!" screams the bartender. "Get the hell out of here!"
They run out and go to another bar and order drinks and when the bartender asks for money, the first man unzips his fly, and the second man drops to his knees. The bartender throws them out. After the sixth bar the second man complains, "Man this isn't working out so well, My knees are killing me!"
"You think you've had it bad," the first man exclaims. "I lost the hotdog four bars ago!"
Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.
A hot dog in one of his ears, a pretzel in the other ear, and a nacho chip in one nostril.
The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."
God Is Watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large tray of hot dogs.
The nun posted a sign on the hot dog tray, "Take only one. God is watching."
Further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the hot dogs."