Egg Jokes

What day do eggs hate most?

What did Snow White call her chicken?
Egg white.

How do eggs leave the highway?
By going through the eggs-it.

How do comedians like their eggs?
Funny side up!

How do monsters like their eggs?

What do chickens call a school test?

What�s the difference between you and eggs?
Eggs get laid and you don�t

What did the eggs do when the light turned green?
They egg-celerated!

Did you hear about McDonalds?
They eggspanded the breakfast menu.

Why is Kristy Alley so fat?
Because she did not eggsercise!

How did the egg get up the mountain?
It scrambled up!

What do you call an egg taking a snooze on the job?

Who wrote the book, Great Eggspectations?
Charles Chickens!

Why can't you tease egg whites?
Because they can't take a yolk!

What do you get when you cross an egg with a sperm?
An omelette you probably shouldn't eat.

Why did the egg go to school?
To get "egg-u-cated"!

Why is the chef so mean?
She beats the eggs!

Why did the chicken lay her egg on an axe?
She wanted to hachet

What did one egg say to another?
Your yolks crack me up.

Why do chickens lay eggs?
Because if they dropped them they would break!

What do Chickens grow on?

What did the egg say to the clown?
You crack me up!

What part did the egg play in the movies?
He was an "Egg-stra".

What do you call an egg who is on the computer too much?
An "Egg Head".

What sport are the eggs good at?

What did the mommy egg say to the baby egg?
You're "Egg-stra special".

What does the cihcken say to get across a busy street?
EGGS-cuse me please!

What grows on yolk trees?

What is an eggs favorite tree?
A y-oak tree!

How do chickens pay for their groceries?
Using the eggs-press line.

Where do you find information about eggs?
In the hen-cyclopedia!

Who tells the best egg jokes?

What do chickens serve at birthday parties?

What do you call an egg that goes on safari?
An eggs-plorer!

How many eggs can you eat on an empty stomach?
Just one, because then your stomach won't be empty.

How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

How do baby chickens dance?

What do you call a mischievious egg?
A practical yolker.

What did the egg do when it saw the frying pan?
It scrambled

What do you call an egg white with cowboy boots?
A western omelette!

What do you get if a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
An eggroll.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a martian?
An eggs-traterrestrial!

What do you call a city of 20 million eggs?
New Yolk City!

What do you call a good omelette?

How do you find prehistoric eggs?
With an eggscavator.

What do you call a handyman who lives on a farm?
An egg-chanic.

What do you when you make a egg laugh?
You crack it up.

What do eggs do for fun?

What happens when a baby chick hatches?
It gets all egg-cited.

If fruit comes from a fruit tree, what kind of a tree does a chicken come from?
A poul-tree!

Q: What do you call a pig with a rash?
A: Ham and Eczema

Q: What happens to an egg when it laughs too hard?
A: It cracks up!

Q: What's an eggs favorite basketball team?
A: Yokelahomia City.

Q: How do you make an egg roll?
A: You push it!

There was an Egg that went to a cafe.
The Woman at the counter asked "What can I get you?".
The Egg said "Could you get me a double Eggspreso.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

Would you like to hear an egg yolk, i have a dozen of them. When you hear them you'll crack up.

I love eggs, but they...... Crack me up.

My wife boils the perfect eggs but then forgets she cooks them, I think she may have eggtimers.

Who CAME First?
A chicken and an egg are laying in bed.
The chicken is stretched back smoking a cigarette with a very satisfied smile across his face.
The egg is frowning and looking extremely frustrated.
The egg says, "Guess we answered that question."

Not Too Eggciting

If you think life is bad. How would you like to be an egg?

You only get laid once.
You only get eaten once.
It takes 4 minutes to get hard. Only 2 minutes to get soft.
You share your box with 11 other guys.
But worst of all. The only chick that ever sat on your face was your mother.

Egg Pick Up Lines

How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!

How do you like you eggs in the morning? scrambled or fertilized!

Hey baby can I crack my eggs in your hot sizzling grill?

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