Corn Jokes
Q: Why didn't anyone laugh at the gardener's jokes?
A: Because they were too corny!
Q: How did the tomato court the corn?
A: He whispered sweet nothings into her ear.
Q: What did the corn say when he got complimented?
A: Aww, shucks!
Q: What does chuck norris do when he wants popcorn?
A: He breathes on Nebraska!
Q: What do you tell a vegetable after it graduates from College?
A: Corn-gratulations.
Q: What does moldy corn flakes have in common with Charles Manson?
A: They are both Cereal Killers!
Q: Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?
A: Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
Q: How is an ear of corn like an army?
A: It has lots of kernels.
Q: What do you call the State fair in Iowa?
A: A corn-ival.
Q: What do you call a buccaneer?
A: A good price for corn.
Q: What do you get when a Corn cob is runover by a truck?
A: "Creamed" corn.
Q: What do you call the best student at Corn school?
A: The "A"corn.
Q: What do Corn cobs call their father?
A: "Pop" corn.
Q: What do you call a mythical veggie?
A: A unicorn.
Q: What do corn use for money?
A: Corn "Bread."
Q: What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?
A: Where is my pop corn?
Q: What has ears but cannot hear?
A: A field of corn.
If corn oil comes from corn, what does baby oil come from?
Don't tell a secrets in a cornfield. There a too many ears
What did one ear of corn say to the other ear of corn?
Don't look now but I think someone is stalking us.
You throw away the outside, cook the inside, then eat the outside, and throw away the inside, what am I?
Corn on the cob.
National Corn on the Cob Day is celebrated annually on June 11th.
Two corn cobs
One day two corn cobs, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.
The uninjured corn cob called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured corn cob was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.
After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured corn cob, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."
"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".
No Corn
A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any corn? "
The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of corn, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the corn is.
The stockboy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of corn, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stockboy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the corn, I need some corn right now!"
The stockboy, getting frustated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answers a couple of questions and I will get you your corn from the back."
The lady agrees and the man starts the questions.
"Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stockboy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. "
The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, Fuc, as in corn. "
She replies "There is no Fuck in corn?"
To which the stockboy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"
Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.
A banana stuck in one of his ears, a corn cob in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.
The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."
Math Mistake
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked, "If you had 4 corn cobs and I asked for one, how many would you have left?"
Quickly he replied, "If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4 corn cobs."