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Corn Jokes


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Q: Why didn't anyone laugh at the gardener's jokes?
A: Because they were too corny!

Q: How did the tomato court the corn?
A: He whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

Q: What did the corn say when he got complimented?
A: Aww, shucks!

Q: What does chuck norris do when he wants popcorn?
A: He breathes on Nebraska!

Q: What does moldy corn flakes have in common with Charles Manson?
A: They are both Cereal Killers!

Q: Why shouldn't you tell a secret on a farm?
A: Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.

Q: How is an ear of corn like an army?
A: It has lots of kernels.

Q: What do you get when a Corn cob is runover by a truck?
A: "Creamed" corn.

Q: What do you call the best student at Corn school?
A: The "A"corn.

Q: What do Corn cobs call their father?
A: "Pop" corn.

Q: What do corn use for money?
A: Corn "Bread."

Q: What did the baby corn say to the mom corn?
A: Where is my pop corn?

Q: What has ears but cannot hear?
A: A field of corn.

If corn oil comes from corn, what does baby oil come from?

Don't tell a secrets in a cornfield. There a too many ears

What did one ear of corn say to the other ear of corn?
Don't look now but I think someone is stalking us.

Two corn cobs
One day two corn cobs, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. They stepped off the curb and a speeding car came around the corner and ran one of them over.

The uninjured corn cob called 911 and helped his injured friend as best he was able. The injured corn cob was taken to emergency at the hospital and rushed into surgery.

After a long and agonizing wait, the doctor finally appeared. He told the uninjured corn cob, "I have good news, and I have bad news. The good news is that your friend is going to pull through."

"The bad news is that he's going to be a vegetable for the rest of his life".

Corn, Pickle, & Penis
A corn cob, a pickle and a penis were talking about their awful lives.
The corn cob said my life sucks, when i get big and fat they cut me up and cook me.
The pickle said when I get big and fat they cover me in vinegar & throw me in a jar.
The penis said, when I get big and fat they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room and bang my head against the wall till I throw up and pass out!

Doctors Office
A guy walks into the doctor's office.

A banana stuck in one of his ears, a corn cob in the other ear, and a carrot stuck in one nostril.

The man says, "Doc, this is terrible. What's wrong with me?"

The doctor says, "Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly."

Math Mistake
After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker's boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers.
Angrily she asked, "If you had 4 corn cobs and I asked for one, how many would you have left?"
Quickly he replied, "If it was you who asked, I'd still have 4 corn cobs."

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